The Finish Line

Will I ever get there? Do I have what it takes? I am home sick and have been watching too much daytime tv that has to do with weight loss. I have been thinking a lot about my weight lately - why am I so heavy? what is holding me back? what am I afraid of? Sadly I do not have an answer to any of these questions. I have part of the answer but I think I am missing something - I think the struggle is deeper than eating right and moving more. That I can do....I only seem to be able to keep it up for a short time and then I fall back in to "old" ways. I know what I need to do. I was watching Dr. Phil and he said about cleansing your environment - if it isn't in the house you probably won't go out and get it. I know for most things I wouldn't and if I do that I must have really wanted it.

I keep talking about starting over and I'll be "better" next week or tomorrow. It is not about being "better" - it is about making changes to myself and how I see myself. My weight plays a large roll in my life - there are a lot of times that I let it take over - I really need to find a "healthy" (mentally) way of approaching weight loss. I am terrified that I am going to pass my unhealthy body image to my beautiful little girl. Again with Dr. Phil - a mom who put her 11 year old on a celery diet so she won't get at like her mom had - she also felt only skinny girls get the good, rich husbands. This woman is crazy but I am terrified that I will somehow pass something terrible on like that to Grace. Not in the same extreme but I talk bad about myself all the time and I am constantly on a "diet".

My husband and I have been talking a lot about eating better lately. We have fallen into what is "easy"....not usually the best for us. We need to start meal planning and working together. I find I am just too lazy by the time I get home to make a whole huge meal by myself does not appeal. I just want something easy and fast. Why can't easy and fast be healthy? It can - I have a crock pot and there are many things that are quick and healthy. We have been feeling run down - we spend so much time worrying about Grace eating right and getting enough fruits and veggies and forgetting that we need the same. Must treat myself better.

Wiped

I am totally exhausted! I don't know what it is exactly but I am feeling really run down these last few days. My back is still bothering me but I have been getting to the gym. I am trying to come up with a running schedule that will work for me so I don't lose too much more time with Grace in the evenings. It is too dark for me to get out on my own in the evening after Grace goes to bed. I don't really want to run consecutive days....I'll figure it out! I am looking forward to have my chiropractor appointment for my legs tomorrow and he is going to give me the okay on my new runners. I am really looking forward to making the change =) I really hope it helps with my shins like he thinks it will.

We had our second swimming lesson tonight - the first one was a nightmare and we left before we even got in the water and today I went in with her and it went a little better....she didn't cry too much =( By the end of the class she was happy as a clam!

So my eating has been horrible! I have been really struggling with making good decisions. I just don't know what is going to make this click in for me. I am so unhappy every time I look at my body yet I keep eating chips and chocolate bars and other crap. I feel like a broken record or a yo - yo, I keep getting back on track and losing some weight and then falling off the wagon again. We want to expand our family this time next year and I do not want to be this weight. I want to start at a healthy weight with this next pregnancy, I did not have that with my first and I really want it with my second. I do not want to deliver at 200 pounds or more. I am still 20 pounds heavier that I was when I got pregnant. I am so disappointed with my effort.....

Still Sore

So I woke up this morning hoping a good nights sleep would help make my back feel better but....no. I found it hard to get through the day at my computer. I tried to get an appointment with one of my chiropractors but they were both at the same conference! I did have my massage and she could not believe how bad it felt - she agreed that I needed to make another appointment to see the chiro on Monday because something is definitely not right....I am going to take it easy this weekend in the activity area and try and keep my eating good.

We had a really nice visit with family tonight and I managed not to eat too bad. They had the BEST garlic bread ever and I may have had an extra piece......I did have a small piece of dessert but nothing too bad. I wish I had just passed as it wasn't that great but it was a really small piece. We are having 3 girl friends over tomorrow night for some appies and I am trying to plan ahead to make sure I don't over do it. I have some fruit ready and some veggies that I need to cut up for the table. Sometimes appies can be more dangerous than dinner because they can last all night. I just have to be smart with my choices.

Well I am also looking forward to sleeping and relaxing this weekend - I could use both!

Sore

I was not able to make it to the gym today as my back is just killing me! I don't know what I have done to it but it's not good. I have a massage booked for tomorrow and I might also try and get into see my chiropractor. I was barely able to sit at my desk by the end of the day. We did go out for a walk tonight and I did okay - a bit slow but still got out. Yesterday I was very proud of myself - I can home and ran to my inlaws =) My running class ended last week but I am going to try and keep it up. So far so good. I am hoping to get my back feeling better tomorrow and then maybe I can get another run in on Sunday.

We have a pretty long weekend ahead of us - starting tomorrow we have quite a bit to do. I am going to slip some activity in wherever I can and keep my eating on track.

I signed up yesterday to kick the s*#$ out of cancer  with the other girls from Burnaby Hit  where I workout. I thought it was a good cause and I get to wear a cool pink t-shirt! I am also looking for a run to participate November - I think October is too soon and I am not sure I want to wait until December. I want to find something that is for a good cause =)

Confused

So last night I hopped on the scale to see the damage that I did over our weekend away, I was quite upset to see that I had gained 8 pounds this weekend. I went to bed upset and tossed and turned most of the night....I got up this morning hopped on the scale and I was still up 7 pounds and extremely disappointed in myself. I could not believe I had done that much damage - I had made an effort to do better than normal, I was not perfect but I was not that had either. So I signed into my WW account and recorded my weight to see that I had LOST 3 pounds? I guess I forgot how fat I was.....isn't that weird?

Well I was really happy with that needless to say. Today I stayed on track pretty good - I tend to get headaches when I am too good. I think I go through some kind of withdrawl or something. I had a little chocolate bar and a pop and it seems to be clearing up. Well I have some stuff to do around the house so I better get going. I hope you all had a great weekend!

Weekend Away!

We have taken tomorrow off and I am so excited to get away for the weekend! It will be so nice to not be at home =)

I stayed on track today and got to the gym after work and then a light walk this evening. I am trying to plan run times that won't take me away from Grace....it's hard trying to balance it all.

I just realized that I do not have much to say today....well have a wonderful weekend and I will see you when we get back!

Baby Steps

Thank you for all the birthday wishes - we had a great lunch and I got some really nice gifts! We had to spread out the lunches so it was a bit late (my actual birthday is August 25) but I don't care when it happens. It was actually pretty nice to spread it out.

I got my work out in yesterday and a small walk with Grace while hubby was out at class. Tonight I got my last run class in and we did 6 and 1's. I am really going to miss class but I am going to try and keep it up. I have the best of intentions =) I think I am going to sign up for another 5k to help keep me motivate and intouch with my running. I will it the gym again tomorrow and then probably another walk and then we are off  to Washington on Friday and I am so excited! We are heading to Fall City for my husbands company picnic - they treat us so well while we are there and we get to stay in a beautiful hotel and shop! It is so nice to shop in the states and so much cheaper! I am on a mission to find some good priced runners - I need new ones as per direct instructions from my chiropractor. It's hard when they MAKE you shop =)

My eating has been pretty good - not perfect but I have been doing much better. I have stayed away from cookies and muffins and that is the right thing to do!

Ups and Ups......

I had an interesting week...I ate like crap but I completed my first 5k! I did not seem to care what I put in my mouth but I got to the gym twice last week and I completed my first 5k. I am so proud of my activity last week and I am looking forward to doing more!

I don't know my time for the 5k because it hasn't been published yet but I ran for almost 4 1/2 k straight before I had to stop and walk for a little bit. It was a really warm day and I felt like I was going to die! Well not really but I was pretty pooped by the end of it but I felt so accomplished =) I will post my time when I get it. I am going to push myself to run 3 times per week starting next week and plan for another race in the coming months. I am also going to be signing up for this at the gym to help keep me motivated and help raise some money for cancer research.

Today was not much better in the eating category as it was my birthday lunch at work and we go to this amazing little pizza place =) I have lunch and dinner planned for tomorrow and a workout at the gym. Hubby starts his class tomorrow so Grace and I will probably walk to the park or something to pass the time.

Good Bye Long Weekend

I am so sad to see you go! We have had a great long weekend and I do not want it to be over! The weather has been so nice and we have spent a lot of time in the sun. We have had a busy but nice weekend - we had friends over on Saturday night (Martha's Best Mac & Cheese - SO amazing!), my parents hung out with Grace so the hubby and I could finally go and see Captain America on Sunday and today we packed up and walked 4km to the park so a nice picnic! We got the wee one to bed early tonight and have taken some time to get a few odds and ends together.

I got on the scale this morning and it read 184.4 - not quite all gone but close enough that I am really happy with my results. My eating was good for the most part of the weekend and I kept myself active with some walking. I was wanting to get a run in on Friday but I was wiped and just not in the mood. I will be hitting the gym tomorrow for my first of 2 workouts this week. I have running on Wednesday so I will try and get a run in tomorrow night - see how I feel after the gym.

I tried my first smoothie this morning and it was yummy. I made them for hubby and I with 3 peaches, 1/2 cup blueberries, 1/2 cup spinach, 1/2 cup 0% greek yogurt and 1/2 cup skim milk. It was not the best I have every had but I am going to keep trying. Any suggestions/recommendations?

Sore

4 workouts in 3 days....a little bit too much. My feet, legs and lower back are really feeling it! So Tuesday I went to "The Hit" and then for a run, last night I went for a run and tonight I was at "The Hit" again. Not to mention the 1 1/2 hour walk we did after dinner. I am really pleased with my activity this week, my eating has not been really great. I need to keep working at that. I find when I am tired I get lazy with my eats and start picking/grazing.....I was pleased that I got some more fruits and veggies in today. Hubby and I are hosting a small BBQ on saturday and need to head to costco to pick up a couple of things Saturday morning - I am going to add all I need for smoothies in the morning. Hubby does not eat breakfast or enough fruits and veggies and has been getting sick a little easier than normal these days. I think both of us will benefit from this. I have fell off the tracking wagon for some reason since last night. I did not track last night or today and I am not too sure why. I like using the online program but I sometimes forget about it. I must do better with tracking! I think I am going to get my calendar set up at home and start doing the ticker for a good day thing - maybe I need a visual to help me out!

Well, I am pooped and I need to get to bed! I cannot wait for tomorrow to be over and the long weekend to start!

4:1

4 minutes running is actually a long time to run! Tonight our intervals were 4 minutes running and 1 minute walking - it felt so good. My eating has been okay today - on plan but I did have a kitkat at lunch, didn't need it but I bought and ate it anyways. I like to have something salty at lunch and I am finding it too many points. I need to try some new things to see if I can get the points down. I really need to add more fruits and veggies to my day - I rely too much on points loaded things for snacks (granola bars, yogurt, cheese) and I am not finding it filling enough - if I add a piece of fruit or some more veggies with my lunch it will help keep me satisfied longer.

Today I was starving all morning! I had to keep dipping into my lunch to try and get full! It never really worked until I ate my whole lunch! I hate that feeling! I think I need to start eating more protein in my meals to help keep me satisfied longer. I would like to get into smoothies in the morning to help keep my points down and up my fruits and veggie intake - everyone says you can't taste the spinach =)

Practice Run!

I actually got out for a practice run tonight! It felt so good to finally accomplish this! I also went to the gym after work - I don't generally like to double up like this but I was determined to get this run in. I am aiming for 3 runs this week. I have my class tomorrow and I am aiming to run Friday after work or Saturday morning when I get up. I will also be heading back to the gym on Thursday. I am aiming for 5 "workouts" (3 runs and 2 gym sessions) a week. I am not going to have any real days off as we try and walk each day on the weekend.

We have a long weekend coming up this weekend and it can't come soon enough! I am exhausted and need the break from my alarm clock! My eating was good today - I did have a nice treat after dinner with some of my weekly points and I did a good job tracking =)

Oh Boy!

I was not good this weekend and boy did it ever show this morning! I was not going to share but really this is what it is all about. I weighed in this morning at 187.3....yuck! I knew it was coming but still it was more than I expected. I was very active this weekend and hoped it would help....it probably did but this still sucks! Needless to say I was back at it this morning. I have tracked all day and did a really good grocery shop today to help get back on track. My activity was not what I hoped for today - I was really hoping to get a run in today but Grace was not in the mood for daddy time and daddy was a little edgy himself so I hung out with them for the night. I did get 2 light walks in today and will get to the gym and for a run tomorrow. I was really hoping to not have to double up but I really need this practice run!

I am really hoping to start making some real progress in my weight loss. I had a talk with hubby about him helping me out more, no more extra treats and getting out and being more active. I have also decided to not buy cookies anymore - if I happen to be somewhere and they are homemade I can have one - store bought are no more. I am hoping this will help make a difference, I am not going to cut everything because it doesn't work for me but cookies have really got to go! This cookie monster can't seem to control herself!

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is my 29th birthday. I had a great day but now I have a terrible tummy ache!I had a burger at lunch with my mommy and then hubby, Grace and I headed to the PNE - it is the summer fair in our city. I love going but we just eat like crap there and I am really paying for it right now. We had deep fried oreos and they were amazing! I know it is not something I should have had but I did and that's that....We walked around for 2 hours and then came home and played for a bit before bath and now relaxing time for mommy and daddy =) The birthday festivities will continue on this whole weekend and one day in to next week. We have dinner tomorrow, my sister in law is taking me out Friday and I have dinner again on Sunday. I did not get to the gym or anything today but we did walk for 2 hours which I guess will have to be good enough. As for tomorrow I am going to count it as my rest day and I will not have any time to get out. Saturday I am going to head in to the gym and Sunday I will get out for a walk at least. I want to do a practice run and I am going to try and fit it in maybe Sunday morning.

I don't know that I will have much time to post this weekend but I am sure going to try!

Food, food, food

Well I was not happy with my WI on Monday. I was up .2 - I know it is nothing but I was down so much more earlier in the week! I am very happy to say that I found my boxing gloves....at the gym where I forgot them =) I found them when I finally went back there today to get my butt kicked! It felt so good to get back. I even got on the treadmill at my parents yesterday. A good week of activity! The food has not been great....it is my birthday on Thursday and I have been eating a little more that I should be.

I am not at all excited for my birthday this year - it has been a really long year full of ups and downs and I am just disappointed in where I am. We have had so much going on and as I said in my last post I have not lost any weight....I have gained about 9 pounds. My goal for this year is to not be where I am today. I am not going to put a number or a place on this because it is so much more than weight loss. I want to be more financially stable, I want to be more organized and I want to be happier. Here is to 29 being a better year!

WI tomorrow....

I was feeling so good earlier in the week but this weekend I have not been good to myself. I was mostly good to myself but not the whole time. Friday was bad and Saturday and today were okay. I would be really good and then not great all at the same time. I kept moving all weekend but I have yet to do a practice run - why am I holding myself back? I need to get out there! I still can't find my gloves...I am going to have to ask if maybe I left them there?

I was reading a blog and there was a comment from someone pointing out that 1 year ago roughly she weighed less than she does today...it really got me to thinking about what I am doing. I am about 9 or 10 pounds heavier than I was last year. I was holding steady - losing and gaining the same few pounds over and over again, just recently I have gained roughly 9 or 10 pounds. This is not what I want to be doing - I really need to figure this s$*t out! I am not going to make myself or you guys any promises that I have not been able to keep. I have said many times that I am going to get it together but that doesn't seem to be working for me. I will be tracking tomorrow and I am going to hop on my parents treadmill after work. Here we go......

Sunny Days

I love sunny weekends! We had a very nice day today - got in a good walk and Grace got some great time in the pool today. I also got some really good deals at Old Navy tonight - I love an extra 50% off clearance days =) At the end of every season I try and pick up some basics for Grace for the next age for that season.

Tomorrow we are going to give the back pack a try -  we are going to take the stroller just in case she hates it. I really wish the weekends were longer - it has been so nice being home and actually getting things done and enjoying some time together.

On Friday I had a very LONG day. There seems to be a lot of drama at my office lately and it has been really draining - sadly I let this effect my choices. I overate on so many levels...it was not good. I am happy that I picked it up today but I really need to find better ways of dealing with things - why do we turn to food?

What do you turn to when you are stressed/happy/sad/frustrated......?

Get it together!

So on Monday I forgot my runners and today I forgot my boxing gloves! I came home and the first thing I wanted to do was put my gloves back in my car where they belong! Well I can't find them....we took them out of my car for some reason and now I can't find them, good thing I have all weekend to look for them! Instead of my workout we went for a nice long walk and picked up Grace's passport and a few small things at Costco. We have a nice walk from our place that takes us past a park, up to the mall and then past Costco - I love it =)

Thank god it is friday tomorrow, this has been a long week! I really need a sleep in! We have some nice easy "plans" which include some good activity both days. We bought a baby backpack for hiking so we are going to give it a try on Sunday finally. The weather really hasn't been cooperating up until now for us to get out for a hike. We live about 3 blocks from a small lake and we are going to try and walk around it with Grace in the backpack - it should take us about 2 hours, it is 11 K and I figure with carrying Grace we will be a it slower. I think we will also take her stroller just in case she doesn't like the back pack.

So I peeked on the scale this morning and I am so excited! It is moving in a good direction =) Just need to keep this up over the weekend!

3 minutes 2 minutes

That is what we ran today and I was so tired! I did not get my practice runs in and I felt it today. It was only me and the "teacher" and we kept what I felt was a really good pace! I also did good with my eating.

I was disappointed yesterday when I forgot my running shoes - I did not let it derail me I got home made and ate dinner and then packed up baby and hubby and we were off for a 6 or 7 km walk =) It has felt so good to get active again. I have been really missing the time to get out and do something. I will be back at the gym tomorrow - I had really wanted to get in twice this week but I am not sure that I will e able to make it happen on Saturday, we will have to see! It's a really short post tonight, hopefully more to say soon =)

Let's Keep This Regular!

I can't believe how terrible my posting has been the last few weeks! Between summer getting the best of me and everything we have had going on these last few weeks I just have not been making the time.

I am very happy and surprised to announce that I saw a loss this week. My weight was down to 184.1. I got back on the WW website this morning so I could start tracking again. I have not tracked everything for the day yet but I know I will be a bit over. I wasn't able to grocery shop until today but that is fine - I will do better tomorrow. My brother got married this past weekend and it was a crazy couple of days! We were going from Friday until Sunday evening. It was a beautiful day and I have to admit I am happy it is over with.....my sister in law was a bit of a bridezilla =)

I got back to my running class last week after missing 2 (vacation and a rehearsal dinner for another wedding we had to attend) and it almost killed me - sadly I did not get out for my practice runs but I will be signing up for a 5k with my running group for September! I am really excited but I definitely need to start doing my other runs! Tomorrow I will get back to the gym for the first time in 2 weeks and I am really looking forward to it! Well I am hoping this is the beginning of something good =)

Have you ever....

Known you had not eaten well and were going to see a gain and just ate? That is what I did - I knew I had over eaten while I was away but instead of coming home and getting right back on track I continued to not eat well. So I weighed in at 184.8 this morning. I was okay with a gain just wasn't expecting it to be quite that much - I did not want to gain over a pound. I have a super busy week this week but I am just going to have to find time to move! I will be heading the gym tomorrow after work. We have friends bringing dinner tomorrow but they aren't coming until 6 so I should be able to fit my workout and a shower in before they get here. Wednesday I am going to miss another running class as I have a rehearsal dinner that night. I will go Thursday and if I can make it work Friday morning. I have the day off because of a wedding we are attending - I have a week more than hubby does so I decided to just take the day. My mom doesn't work Friday's so I am going to see if I can drop Grace off and go for a workout. I want to try and get downtown to drop off Grace's passport application - I will have to see about timing. Well that's the pan for now and I will do the best I can to get as much movement in as I can. I need to get some extra groceries too - all I have is fruit =)

Partied out?

Really? Who would have thought? I love get together but I find them much more stressful now that Grace is mobile! We had another wedding shower today and I find myself not really enjoying any of this - I feel like people are judging me for how Grace acts. She is really well behaved but she is 15 months and she gets bored pretty quickly. I do my best to keep her on the quieter side and busy but I just can't all the time. This shower was my SIL's friends and her family friends. One of her family friends is a real bitch! She just sits and glares at people and I felt her judging my parenting the whole time!  I am also very self conscious about my weight around basically everyone - I always feel like people are judging me for not having lost the baby weight yet. I know a lot of it is in my head but I also know that it is justified in many situations. Her friends are very superficial and very "trendy" people. I do not dress "trendy" by any means. All of their clothes are expensive and designer and I feel they judge me for not wearing those things. It's something I need to get over, these people do not mean anything in my life....

Summer

It is finally here in BC! The weather has been nice and we have been in Summerland for the last few days. It felt so good to get some real sun =)

I forgot about posting....I was down .9 this week and I was pleased with that. I do not know what Monday will bring but I am okay with it. I was active but not to the same degree and I ate reasonably well but did indulge in some "road" food. We got Grace out of the boat and in the water! We had a lot of fun and this weekend coming up is going to be busy! I have a shower tomorrow, down to the states Sunday and off for some family time on Monday (BC Day). I will hopefully be back with an update sooner rather than later!

Stress

I have been really stressed out the last few months. Very embarrassingly the hubby and myself dug ourselves into some financial trouble in the last 2 years. When we found out we were going to have a baby (she was about a year early) we decided we wanted to move. We were living in a one bedroom basement suite saving up for a down payment. Housing is VERY expensive in the Vancouver area (3 bedroom townhouse = $369 900 unrenovated). We saved a good down payment and my inlaws company handled the renos for us. So we bought, reno'd and furnished a place as well as having a baby all in under 1 year. I was then off work for 1 year, yes I was paid but it was less than 50% of my normal salary and we did not make enough changes. We thought when I went back to work it would all even it self out and we would be fine. Well it didn't quite work that way and things were getting tight. I phoned into the bank and they suggested that we consolidate into out mortgage, after talking it over with hubby and exhausting all other options we decided that was what we would do. I phoned in again and apparently the other person I had spoken to was wrong and we weren't eligible as our mortgage is too "young". Well I went into to work today and swallowed my pride and asked for a loan, we are a smaller company and they are always willing to help. I feel 1000 pounds lighter now...

My eating has been pretty good - I also got another workout in yesterday and another 2 minute plank! I am feeling stronger every workout!

I am on my own with Grace this weekend and I am planning a couple of really good walks and hopefully even a run!

2 Minutes!

That is right - I did a 2 minute plank! I am so proud of myself =) I killed myself today, 30 minute hit after work and then my running group at 7:30. I missed my workout yesterday because I forgot my clothes but I figured I was still going to get 2 days in even if it was 2 days in a row with 1 being a "double" day. 

Sorry if this is TMI but I have gotten my first period sans IUD and I want to eat everything that passes me! I am trying not to but not really succeeding. I am doing better than before but not great. I just keep doing the best I can. I am on my own this weekend (hubby is off for my brothers stag) so I just need to keep myself on track. Grace and I are heading to a birthday party on Saturday afternoon where I know they have gotten cakes from somewhere I hate (make me happy) and I can make sure I eat a good breakfast and then have a good dinner. I am planning a couple of big walks to help keep us busy and then picking my mom and dad up from the airport on Sunday! I have missed them! We then have a party to celebrate my coworker/friends husband finishing his phd - I am so proud of him but very sad because he has taken a postdoc position in Austin, Texas =( I am really going to miss her. It is such an amazing adventure for them!

Well I am tired and want to go to bed so I will talk to you guys tomorrow =)

More

More good days is what I need. Getting sick last week really mucked me up - I have not been able to workout since Tuesday last week and I really don't like that. I did manage to lose 1.8 this week which I am really proud of. My eating has not been perfect but it has been much better...well except for today. I think I need to give you some back story before I tell you why today was nit great eating wise - we went to a wedding on Saturday. The bride and groom decided everyone would have to take a 15 minute hike down to a secluded beach...well the weather was the shits and it was slippery....hubby's 73 year old aunty fell and managed to dislocate and break her ankle in 3 places. We weren't allowed to see her yesterday due to surgery so we could only go right after work. We can't wait too long for dinner because of Grace so my inlaws decided we would stop for burgers - they were really good but I know they are really high in points...I am afraid to track today. Oh well - must move on.

Tomorrow I will be getting back to the gym - I am still congested but I think I should be fine now. I am hoping to keep up with the weight loss. I am disappointed that I won't be much smaller for my brothers wedding but I need to lose weight for myself not a function.

Sickly

I have a cold and I feel like crap! I missed my workout and my run tonight because I am so congested! My eating has been pretty even - I did have some chips that I didn't need but I did count them...that doesn't excuse it by any means but last week I just gave up when I ate something that wasn't really in my plan. I am really missing my activity but I just don't have the umph to do it. I am really hoping to feel better soon - hubby had this last week and it didn't last too long but it really sucks!

Well I am going to take a night time cold pill and go to bed!

Day 2

I have tracked everything but my last little treat of a Healthy Choice Fudge Bar (2 Points Plus) and my 45 minute walk. I will use a couple of my weekly points today because we had an amazing treat at work - I counted it and got my workout in and an extra walk! Feels good =) My throat is killing me and that fudge bar felt SO good!

I was really proud of myself today - I planned ahead for dinner and it made things so much easier! I went for my workout and to water my parents plants (they are in Europe) and came home to hubby throwing the steaks on the bbq with the potato salad ready - all I had to do was cut up some veggies and pour a glass of water. After dinner we got ourselves together and went for a nice walk to a new park for Grace to play on the swings! She LOVES the swings! I will be going to the gym tomorrow and Thursday and I also have running class tomorrow night. I am disappointed that I AGAIN did not get my homework done for running....next week I will do better. I am not going to wait for hubby - just get out and do it!

Reset

I have hit that infamous reset button again. I weighed in this morning and took my measurements. I am going to update my tab tomorrow (the stuff is upstairs and I am too lazy). My starting weight this morning was 186.1 - the heaviest non-pregnancy weight I have ever recorded....

I can't dwell on it - I just need to move forward. I had a great day food wise and got out for a 45 minute walk with the fam after dinner. I got back online with WW and have tracked my points for today as well and input my weight and measurements. I know it is too little too late for the weddings this summer but it will be something. I will do the best I can to get the most I can off before my brothers wedding. I am going to commit to 3 times at 30 minute hit and my one night of running. I am trying to get some extra running time in but it doesn't seem to be happening right now.

I have been reading up on the "17 day diet" and I am finding it quite interesting. I am not quite sold on it but it does have some really good points about eating ore balanced diet and trying to avoid some of the fruits that have a higher concentration of sugars (bananas/watermelon and some others) and trying to eat more berries. They recommend only 2 servings but that was something that didn't work for me. I am trying to eat fewer carbs and more protein as it is suggested in most "diets". I was happy with some of the ideas I got from the book but the eating plan was far too restrictive and the calories were too low to support the level of activity I was to achieve.

One day down....a lot more to go.

Running

I had week 2 of my running group tonight and again I really enjoyed it! I have been surprised by how much I am truly enjoying it. I need to make sure I get my homework done this week. Tomorrow I will be heading to The Hit  after work and I hope to get a walk in at lunch before it starts raining again.

I am still struggling with eating well - I don't really know what my mental block is but I seem to want to just eat crap! I will pack myself a healthy lunch, most of which I eat....it's the chips or cookies or some days both that I seem to keep adding. I really do not like the way I look or feel but I don't seem to be willing to fix this? I keep working at this but I am not getting anywhere. We are going to a wedding next weekend and very sadly I will be wearing a dress that I bought last year for w wedding...because I have not gotten anywhere. I am very frustrated but I am not going to let this knock me back. Onward and downward?

Stress and Disappointment

Between work and current finances I am feeling quite stressed. We are getting things back on track financially but like my weight I am annoyed that we let it get away from us. I hate money! Work has been slow due to the postal strike but is picking back up again now that it is over but we are dealing with a lot of people that are waiting for money and they are not pleased. Apparently it is our fault that their mail has not been delivered.

On the disappointment side an old friend was supposed to come for dinner tonight...needless to say he was a no show. I made the potato salad last night and we both rushed home to be sure we were ready and could have dinner on the table quickly. When he was 30 minutes late we started sending BBM (Black Berry Messenger) - no response. Finally when he was 1 hour and 15 minutes late he finally responded saying he was on new meds and the screwed him up ( he hurt himself). I understand this but we had asked him yesterday if he was feeling up to it and then this morning Yvon asked if he could bring some ice cream for with dessert and he said it wouldn't be a problem....This is not the first time - when I was pregnant he was all talk about how he wanted to be Uncle and blah, blah, blah, I have Grace and it took him 3 months to come and meet her. He only came because he had to pick up a movie from us - he couldn't even stay 15 minutes. That was the last time we saw him and after tonight we will not be making any effort to see him again.

I did okay with my eating today but I did have some chips that I really did not need. Just have to get better every day.

Huh?

Have I really been gone that long? I was too ashamed to blog...sadly my weight is 184.1.......yikes! I have really let things get away from me. I am so embarrassed to write that. I have to admit I have been ignoring the blogoshere completely! I feel like I have really shut down lately. I keep thinking I am going to "start again", with the best of intentions I do really well for a couple of hours or even a couple days and then I am back to my "old" ways again. It just seems that the "old days" are not old because they are not going anywhere!

I am just trying to get my footing again, eat healthier and move more. It seems to be helping because I have stopped gaining and I saw a small loss this week. I have changed my WI day to Monday - I like things to start at the beginning of the week and hopefully it will help me stay on track through the weekend. We are really working on our finances and getting organized around the house  -  I am hoping "organizing" my life will help with getting the weight off. I have been trying to get my workouts together and I even joined a learn to run group. I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed my first class - sadly I did not do my homework but I will be making a better effort this week. It was so nice to have a long weekend, Grace has actually started sleeping past 7:30 on a regular basis and I find it is making such a huge difference!

Well there it is - the good....well mostly the bad and the ugly.

Gain?

I am thinking I will see a gain tomorrow morning....It might be even or a small loss but I am going to guess gain. I missed my workout today....I was getting some stuff together at lunch and realized I had everything but my runners! I was so disappointed - it's not the same but I did get a good 1 hour walk in with my dad tonight. Tomorrow is game 5 so I will be home and then saturday I am off to Harrison Hot Springs for my SIL to be's stagette. Her friends can be pretty iffy but I think it will be fun. I am going to try and do my best food wise but we are going to a pub and there will be drinking.....

I hate saying I am going to start tracking again on Monday...I would say Sunday but I am not sure what time I will be home and on Saturday I will not have internet access to be tracking. I am going to make the best decisions I can and it will be what it is.

Today I struggled again with cookies....I don't know what it has been this week but I have been obsessed! It's not like they are sitting there and I just can't walk past them again, I am seeking them out! I go and buy them. I have been having a very weird week at work and I don't know if this is how I am dealing with the stress or what it is - I need to give these things up! Cookies and I need a divorce.....it's sad but I think it needs to happen!

Hockey

So we are watching our Canucks lose for the second game in a row....but for some reason I am not worried? I know they can do this...Why do I not have the same faith in myself? Why can't I know that I can do this?

I have struggled with my food all week - too much sugar. I have been doing good with my activity but my food has just not been good. I am battling this headache still and I am letting myself make bad choices. Why would I think that eating a cookie is going to make my headache go away? It didn't work yesterday....Sugar cravings are just killing me right now - I have just been lazy with my choices and my work ethic in losing weight. I can't wait until Monday to make these changes, I have to make them now and I have to stick with them.

Headache.....

I have had a headache all day long! It is behind my eye and it's really annoying me! I have to admit that I have been trying to eat it away with cookies......I did try and sweat it out at the gym but neither of them worked. I had a great workout and I even got a compliment from the "trainer" about my punching and some of my other "skills". It felt really good to hear that from someone who used to be a fighter. I did not get my morning workout in today - I woke up with this stupid headache and just reset my alarm and got some more sleep hoping it would help...needless to say it didn't =(

We went out for dinner tonight and I was pleased with my choice - it was just mall food but I kept the points lower. It is still not the best but we are so busy this week with watching hockey and the stagette this weekend that I needed to get my brothers birthday gift before it was too late!

Well I really don't have a whole heck of a lot to say....have a good night!

Sun!

I am sorry I was absent all weekend but the sun was shining and I was outside enjoying it! We had an amazingly beautiful weekend and I enjoyed every moment outside that I could. I got 3 great walks in and a sun tan =)

I was down 1.5 on Friday to 178.2. I was pleased with that but ate too much this weekend and have gained some of it back.....better get my butt back in gear. I meant to get up early this morning and do some Wii Fit but I must have set my alarm wrong and ended up sleeping in 15 minutes....I will remedy that tonight and from now until I go away at the end of July I will be up 5 days a week and in the gym 2 to help get me in shape for my brothers wedding. I am going to do 30 day shred, wii fit or one of my other videos. I think this should help speed things up with the weight and the measurements.

I have planned my food for the rest of the week and if I stick to it I should be able to see another loss on Friday. I am excited for the gym tomorrow (less the heat in there)....I should get a really good sweat going! I have to remember my water! I hate having to buy it when I have a perfectly good bottle at home ;)

Well I am watching my Canucks get killed by the Bruins in game 3....it will be better next game. I really hope Horton is okay - regardless of team you never want to see a player leave on a stretcher.

Dripping!

Another amazing workout at 30 Minute Hit! I was dripping sweat and it felt so good. I had a very hard time getting to the end of the workout and it felt so good to lay down and stretch! If you have one in your area please check it out - I have never worked so hard in 30 minutes!

My eating was pretty good today but I did have some chocolate that I did not plan on....I am struggling with the chocolate, I love it way too much! I have great days and not so great days but I am getting better. I am looking forward to the weekend - it has been a LONG week! I really need a weekend that is about 10 days long....it probably wouldn't be long enough. I had an eye exam after my workout today and now I need to get some new glasses! I had to go in because Grace broke my glasses over the weekend. Yvon fixed them for me but not being able to bend one arm.....not so great. I am hoping to get out this weekend to find a new pair but with our plans for Saturday and now some for Sunday I don't know that we will have time. Next weekend I am off the Harrison Hot Spring for my SIL to be's stagette so I would like to get them before then but I don't think it's going to happen...we'll see.

Well enjoy your last day at work ;) I am hoping for a decent loss tomorrow!

WIN!!!!!!

The Canucks won game 1 tonight! So exciting - we scored in the last 19 seconds! Kristen - I love Rome, he is so tough!

In weight loss news I didn't get much activity in today as the game started at 5 and I don't get home until 4:30 and it was raining today =( Tomorrow I will be back at the gym - I am really looking forward to it! We had homeade perogies for dinner tonight and I am very proud to say that I stopped at 4 =) This is hard, they are SO good! I stayed on track throughout the day but lacked in the fruit and veggie department. I am going to add some more tomorrow and keep myself on track so I can see a loss on the scale. I am struggling with snacky things but I am doing better. I picked up some gum to help me out at work and I did notice a difference today.

Well I really don't have much else to say, have a good night!

30 minutes of heaven

I got in an amazing workout today. My eating was back on track with a small slip at lunch. the evening went good and tomorrow will be better. It felt so good to be at the gym and I put in a hard workout! I had a bad day yesterday with my eating - we were out for lunch at work and I overate and I am not sure why but ended up with a terrible headache! I tried a tylenol but it just progressed into a terrible migraine, I managed to get to bed early last night and it was gone this morning but I seem to just let control go when I feel like that and eat bad. I did get a walk in but not something I would have tracked....

Tomorrow is the first game of the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs and I am so excited. My inlaws are coming over and bringing dinner - it will be a bit heavier than normal (homeade perogies) but I can't eat too many of them. They are amazing because my MIL uses a lighter dough that she rolls thinner and they are amazing! I have a bunch of veggies to have with them to help keep the dinner lighter. I have Thursday night and Friday night dinner planned and then I am not sure what we'll do for the weekend. Saturday is Hat's Off Day and I am really looking forward to taking Grace! I can get her face painted and show her off =) She is standing all the time now and taking very small steps with the furniture, I can't wait until she starts walking! It's going to change everything all over again!

Weekends are too short!

I really wish the weekends were longer - like 3 or 4 days or maybe even 7! It was a busy weekend and I did okay with my eating. I tried my best but I did slip up a few times and eat things I probably should not have. I did track everything and tried to get some more activity but it is what it is. I have a lunch out tomorrow and it will be higher in points that I would like but there are no good choices at this restaurant. I won't be at the gym tomorrow but I will be out for a walk after making a light dinner at home.

It should be a busy week again - I am happy that we should be having a quiet week/weekend minus the Stanley Cup Finals that my Canucks will be playing in as of June 1! I am so excited to get this started and we are going to win =D Hubby and I are hopefully going to get tickets to one game - they are expensive and going to hurt our budget but it took the Canucks 17 years to get back to this point and they may never be there again....It is so amazing going to a playoff game let alone one in the final round....not that I have been to one in the final round but I think it is going to be amazing!

Friday!

This was a really LONG short week! It felt like it was never going to end - it wasn't a bad week just long...

I kept Grace home again today - I went into work and my mother in law and mother looked after her for us. I kept my eating good all day and kept up with my tracking. The night has not been as good to me. I did not want to cook so we walked to our local IHOP - dinner was good but higher in points that I was expecting. It's okay because it is the beginning of my week but more points than I wanted to use. Oh well - moving on.

I forgot to mention that I was down 2.5! That was such a relief, it brought me back under 180 =) We have a very busy weekend planned - the aquarium tomorrow and then a bridal shower on Sunday. It should be a good, fun weekend but I am going to have to work to stay in control, it is so easy to let it slip at the shower and eat too many goodies. I will be good!

Sick Baby

I was home from work today with a sick little baby. Grace has been coughing and congested for the last few days so I decided to keep her home to get some real rest. She has started coughing at about 1:30 the last 2 night and about every half hour after that. I kept her home to let her relax and recoup and took her to the doctor to be double safe. There is nothing wrong with her - just too much mucous. Poor little thing. We are going to keep her home tomorrow too but my mom will look after her as she doesn't work on Friday. I am really happy that I did not let the day get away from me because I was home and off of my regular schedule. I didn't quite get enough water but my eating was really good.

I did not get to the gym but I did get out for 2 walks - nothing great but I was really happy with my effort. I am looking forward to not weighing what I did last week. I won't be back to where I was when I actually weighed in the time before that but I will get there. I just have to keep working at it. The next few months are going to be hard but I have given up fast food (except Subway and Quiznos) to give me some extra help. My brother is getting married on August 13th and leading up to that we have 2 other wedding and 4 bridal showers....It's going to be hard but if I stick mostly to fruit and veggies at the showers and a small piece of cake I should be okay. I am going to do my best to get extra activity by walking on my lunch hours....I will need the time occasionally to do some shopping and planning. I am hosting a shower for my sister in law to be for about 23 people - it will go well ;)

Well I need to track the rest of my food for the day - hope yours was good!

Did You Miss Me?

I sure missed all of you! I know it has been a long time and I am never going to get caught up reading everyones blogs but I will start being current! I have missed reading all of your successes!

We had an amazing time in Vegas - missed Grace like crazy but we did manage to eat, drink and gamble to our little hearts content. I only managed the treadmill one day while we were there because I was sick (I got a cold the day before we left) and we walked so much during the day that I figured it would be enough....what a mistake - I got on the scale Saturday morning when we got back to read 181.7! I was almost sick.....needless to say I have gotten myself back on track and I am getting rid of it! I had a leader that always said "fresh fat moves fast"....I am working so it does!

My plan for getting this and more off is to track, track, track and I will be at 30 Minute Hit atleast 2 times a week (Set days of Tuesday and Thursday) and more if I can make it work. If I can't we will be out for a walk - no days off. It is just under 80 days until my brothers wedding and I determined to not be a size 14.....So far I have been doing good and have been tracking and I was at the gym today and will be back tomorrow - I missed Tuesday because Grace has a cold and I had to pick her up from daycare.

I am just watching the American Idol finals - I wish I could move like Beyonce and Tim McGraw has still got it!

Hit

I had a LONG day at work today trying to figure out some problems and let me tell you it felt great to go and punch it out! I was sweaty and tired by the end of it and it was just what I needed.

I am working on some plans for when we get back from Vegas to help me meet my goals - one big thing is to have set gym days and better eating in general. I am thinking about different things I can do and different ways to achieve what I want.

This post is really short because I am not quite ready to put my plan in writing.....

Sick, Busy.....

I am finding it hard to post of the weekends as I don't seem to have as much time. So I weighed myself Friday morning to see the same number. I was really hoping many months ago that I would be well along my way to goal at this time - I am thankful that I am not working my way back to this point but disappointed in myself for not putting the effort in. I will be in Las Vegas this time next week and I can't wait. I feel like I really need the break so I can recharge my batteries. I am anxious about leaving Grace but I know she is in great hands and will be just fine. This will be good for all of us - a little time for mommy and daddy and the grandparents are SO excited to have some one on one time and Grace just LOVES being with all of them.

My plans for Vegas are to have fun. I am going to eat, drink and be merry =) The gym in our hotel (treasure island) is included in our resort fee and I will be taking full advantage. I have told hubby that I will be using the treadmill for 1 hour every morning. I am usually the first one up so I will go and grab breakfast (I am thinking my best bet for something kinda healthy it will be fruit and yogurt from starbucks) and then head down to the gym. If hubby is up he can get his own breakfast if he isn't I will bring it back with me and then we both love to walk so we will be walking alot as well. We plan to spend early day around the pool and then some shopping and just wondering. We have been to Vegas 4 times before and we both just love it! We just love to wander around adn kind of explore. We are thinking we might go to a show - I would like to see O and hubby wants the Chriss Angel one. The guys creeps me out!

Moving on - this weekend we got our hair cut and it felt soo good! Then I cam home and proceeded to dye my own hair (saving money) and it did not turn out =( I am going to dye it again on Sunday because I really don't like it! I hope this won't fry my hair......We had a very busy weekend with hubby's birthday on Friday, hair cuts on Saturday, some shopping we had to get done and a hockey game on saturday and then a very nice but busy mothers day. We had everyone at our place and had roasted chicken, ceasar salad and buns from Costco - that way no one had to cook =)

I am waiting anxiously to see if my Canucks can pull off a win and move on to the third round of the playoffs! It's killing me!

I hit publish and realized that I had not told you about the sick...oops! Saturday night we got home from watching the game at my brothers and my tummy was upset...I had some water and thought nothing of it. It was still bothering me so I went up for a poop and all of a sudden I was barfing! Hubby brought me some water and I started to feel better so I went up to bed, just a few seconds later my tummy started to go again so I went back downstairs (I won't use out bathroom because I don't want to wake Grace up) and it started again and I didn't think it was ever going to end! I ended up sleeping on the coach for most of the night so I could run to the bathroom - luckily it  was only 2 more times! I am still a little off but it'll be fine.

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!! The Vancouver Canucks are going to the 3rd round of the Stanley Cup playoffs for the first time in 17 years! I am SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go Canucks Go!!!!!!!!!

Stress

I had a very stressful day today at work and I am please to say that I did not let it get the best of me! I went for a short walk and a quick tan (just trying to get  a base for Vegas) and I felt much better. I was hoping some of the annoying things at work would have changed while I was away - no luck! My direct manager has been slacking off and then she lies about it. I am her main fill in while she is away and usually end up seeing how backed up she is.....needless to say I had a talk with our boss today about how she is not pulling her weight! The most annoying part is we just had a meeting about all of this and she LIED right to all of our faces saying she was caught up and doing what she was supposed to do!  I don't like cleaning up others messes - when I go away I make sure that I am caught up and I try and get extra done so I am not overwhelming someone else....I have done what I can about this and need to just move on.

I don't know if I have mentioned on here before that about 1 year after I reached goal I started working for WW - I was using it as a way to help keep on track. I learned so much about people and their weight loss as I talked to them for a couple of minutes a week - I felt invested in their weight loss but lost sight of mine. I loved working there but I got overwhelmed with full time work and then too many fill in shifts on top of my regular meeting. I started gaining weight and I could not get anywhere. I couldn't get my footing - so I decided to stop working there and rejoin as a member myself, I felt a lot of pressure because I had worked at almost every meeting in my city. I felt like everyone was watching me......I seem to have all the answers, I just don't seem to be able to put them in motion for myself. I couldn't then and I am still struggling now. I have been doing better but I still struggle to make the "right" choices. One day at a time I am trying to put that knowledge  to good use.

Great Sweat!

I got to the gym today and it felt so good! I had a great workout and we did the circuit in reverse for a change. It was interesting having more energy at the different stations. I am having an easier time with switching out some of the stations for something that won't bother my shins. They are getting better but certain things still really bother me.

My eating was much better today. We were feeling lazy when I got home from the gym so we fed Grace and then walked up to the mall for Quizno's and then to safeway for a couple of groceries. It was so nice to get out - we are expecting rain for a couple of days now so we both wanted to enjoy some fresh air. I am getting much better with my snacking - today I tried to focus on fruit. I did stray and have some nibs - I have been craving  them so bad so I bought a small bag and ate them and that was that. Craving answered and I have now moved on =)

Tomorrow I will be back at the gym, I usually like a day of "rest" in between to do something different but it didn't work out for me this week so I will go 2 days in a row. We are sitting down watching Idol and it has been great!

Nail Biter

My Canucks are trying to give me a heart attack! I am so happy we pulled it out in overtime!

Now, on to the rest of life. Grace had a better night last night so I had a better day today =) She only woke up once last night at about 4:30...she was sleeping on her blanket instead of under it so she was a little cold. I had a hard time getting back to sleep and then it was 6 and time to shower. My stomach is feeling better today and my eating was better today too. I had another acupuncture appointment today and I really felt in better control tonight - I was able to read myself better tonight and stop before I was over full. I didn't even want a pop tonight when we got home from the inlaws. I am starting to notice some positive changes.

I am getting really excited for Vegas - if you hadn't noticed ;) I am also starting to feel uneasy....I had really hoped I would be back into my prepregnancy clothes and even working on the ones from before that. Well needless to say I am not there and I am not looking forward to a bathing suit. I got 2 new tankini tops - hubby says I look great in them but I can't convince myself of the same. I guess I just need to work hard these last 13 days and do what I can. I am going to be using the gym while I am there but I will also be eating and drinking more than usual so i am hoping to come back even.....And just in time for our holiday I seem to have developed a rash on my side - I went to the doc today and he assured me that he didn't think it is shingles....I kinda tried to self diagnose and had myself feeling quite paranoid. He said he didn't think it was but he would swab and check anyways. He also said if it is singles it is already healing....I just wish there was a cream that would make it go away! I guess it's a good thing that my bathing suit will hide it......Well I am pooped so it's off to bed!

Sun......

All I can dream about is sun right now =) I need to go to Vegas! 14 more days! My stomach has really been off the last few days...it doesn't seem to matter what I eat it just doesn't sit right. I hope this goes away soon =( I was hoping to get to the gym today but my hubby had to take the cat in to the vet so i had to go get Grace and today was our Federal election so we had to VOTE! I was so proud to see the young turnout...well the turnout in general was much better this time. It is so important to have your voice heard. I was surprised how many people didn't want to vote...to make a statement? I don't know.....

I got my book in the mail from Alissa! I am so excited to have won! I will be saving it Vegas or when we get home. I will let you know how it is!

Grace cut 3 teeth this weekend and its been a long couple of days. She has had some trouble getting to sleep, tonight was better but I have been pretty tired the last few days. She slept at my parents on Saturday and did really well but both Friday and Sunday we had to hop in the car to get her to sleep. It has been months since we have had to do that! Well I need to relax so I will talk at you later!

Up and Down.....

I am happt o report a small loss of .9 this week. I didn't think I would see a change and if I can keep working I should be getting to new lows in the next few weeks. I tracked all day today and ate much better. I am still struggling with the snacking at work part but I am trying to make them healthier. I hope grapes are one sale somewhere this week because they are always nice to snack on!

Not too sure for the plans tonight - waiting on hubby to get home but we will be out tomorrow for dinner as Grace is sleeping at Grandma and Grandpa's. She did great at my inlaws and I am hoping for the same with my parents. I got a really nice comment at daycare about her - "if all kids integrated this well my life would be easy". That was really nice to hear!

I had IMS today so no workout but we will be out for a walk as the weather has vastly improved! I hope it starts to get a but warmed soon. I can't believe we leave for Vegas on the 16th! I have been checking the weather and they are forcasting as high as 35! I need some serious sun!

So Good!

I got in for a workout today and it felt so good! I got some great new moves to help with the shins and they were intense! I was so sweaty and it felt great! My eating was better today but still not on point and I will be starting my tracking again tomorrow. I don't think I will see a change on the scale but next week I will for sure. Now that we are back to regular work weeks I will be able to get to the gym 3 days next week and I am really looking forward to getting back at it. I have still been walking a lot but I really need to get more than that done! Some of the new moves helped me realize just how weak I have gotten in the last year, I will remember with my next pregnancy to keep up with strength training!

We are getting back on budget and to help myself I am going to start meal planning again. I let it go a while ago for some unknown reason and never really got back to it. I find we eat better and it's cheaper because I am not running to the store all the time. I am going to try and have one big shop on Sunday and only have to go in for fresh fruit and veggies. I really want this to become the "norm" for us. Well I am enjoying the first game of of the second round of the stanley cup playoffs for our Vancouver Canucks! Have a great night everyone!

Bad Everything.....

Well folks I have been busy and away from kind of everything. I did not make it into the gym like I had wanted to on Friday, I did substitue a nice walk in but it's not enough. Saturday night grace had her first sleepover with my inlaws.....and it went great! She will be sleeping one night at my parents this weekend and hopefully it will be just as good. We are trying to get her ready for Vegas...so she is used to not sleeping at home. She is doing so well at daycare that I am feeling as good as I can about leaving her. I know we need it and it's not going to hurt her but it makes me sad! For Easter on Sunday I got 2 really good walks in and then didn't over do it at dinner. The nerves from the hockey game had me too amped!

My eating has been off and on and I really need to get my ass in gear. I was up 2.2 last week, my guess is all the snacking and I don't think the scale is going to move much this week. I am going for a workout tomorrow and my eating is getting better...one step at a time. I am so happy my Canucks made it through the first round of the playoffs...I nearly had a heart attack watching the games!

Well my goals for this week are to get on here more, eat better, track and move!

Munchy

Still struggling a bit with the work day munchies. I am working on it and it is getting better but I really need to get my barings. I don't know what it is about getting back to work but I am a little backed up and it's getting a bit uncomfortable....I will take a probiotic before bed tonight and hope it works it's magic!

I am really looking forward to a 4 day weekend =) It's a nice way to get back into things. I think I am munching partly because of the stress from work, I am finding it hard to deal with all the personalities at work right now and find I am falling back into old, bad habits.....A new, good habit will be going to the gym tomorrow while Grace has her nap. I am really looking forward to getting a regularity to my workouts and hopefully my running class will start soon!

Well I am watching the hockey game and need to concentrate! Happy Easter everyone!

One Step at a Time

Today I got back to the gym and saw the sign that they would be open Friday monring =) I am going....I will get Grace down for her first nap and then leave her and hubby at home and get my workout on! It felt so good to be back at the gym, I am not 100% still but it feels so good to get back! I have my painful IMS tomorrow...I am happy it is helping but wish it didn't hurt as much.

I had my second weight loss acupuncture last night and I think it is helping...I don't know if it is a mental thing but I think it's working. I am not sure I will see something good on the scale on Friday...I am actually pretty sure it won't be good but that is okay this week. My week consisted of TOM, returning to work and taking Grace to daycare and snacking....not good combos for me. I have also not planned much of anything...I am trying to correct this now but I think it is too little too late. I will do better next week!

snacky, snacky

All I want to do is eat! I thought it would be easier at work but I am finding I am always hungry and I just want to graze! I have tried having good options around but it never seems to be enough! I need to come up with different ways of dealing with this. I am going to put some gum in my drawer and see if that helps.

I had my second acupunture treatment today and I am really hoping it helps! I am super excited to get back to the gym tomorrow and can't wait for next week when I can go regularly =) I have been really missing going. I have found myseld craving the gym...it's a nice feeling =)

Oh Boy!

I have been away from here for too long! I have missed all of you and hope to kind of get caught up soon! It has been a VERY busy 2 weeks with Grace's first birthday and going back to work. Grace has been doing amazing at daycare and getting back to work has been okay too!

I weighed  in on Friday at 175.5! I was down over 1 pound and thrilled! I am hoping I can keep this going, I haven't been tracking this week so I am not sure but I am trying to make the right choices. I have found that I am very busy just trying to get myself and Grace together and out the door in one piece. My IMS has been going really well and my legs have been feeling much better. I have my second acupunture for weight loss appointment tomorrow and hopefully she won't be going away for a couple of weeks again this time because it is supposed to work better if you can have your appointments closer together. I have just under 1 month until we go to Vegas and I would like to lose as much as I can before we go. I will be getting back to the gym on Wednesday and I am really looking forward to it! I need a good sweat!

Happy First Birthday Grace!!!!!

We had an amazing party this weekend full of family and great friends! My eating was not good but I don't really care, I enjoyed myself and so did Grace. I was down .3 this week which I am sure will change ;) I have a very busy week, my last one home and a couple of trips to daycare and a birthday dinner tomorrow with my parents, inlaws and brother and sister in law. It will be a light posting week, I hope you are all doing well and I can't wait to get caught up on my reading!

 Grace and Grandpa

 Party Shoes

 Teddy Bear cake - made by yours truly =) It was a cupcake creation and very easy to make, I decorated the rest the same as the ones at the top.

 Blowing a kiss to all her fans!

 She LOVED cake!

Tuckered at the end of the day!

Sorry the post is picture heavy and content empty but I had a hard time picking which pictures to share!

Mommy Meltdown

So I suffered a bit of a mommy meltdown yesterday. Grace was still tired from daycare and decided that she did not want a second nap, she just wanted to stay up and not be more than 1 foot away from me at all times. I thought taking her for a walk to the mall would help but everytime the stroller stopped she started to yell...not scream but just randomly yell at people. I was hoping she would fall asleep on the way with all the fresh air  but no such luck and then to top it all off hubby phoned and he was going to be 1 hour late....I had alot I wanted to get done yesterday and it just didn't happen....instead I ate a couple of 100 calorie packs? I was very conscious of what i was doing and it didn't seem to bother me at the time. When all was said and done I was very disappointed in myself for "eating my feelings" and letting it go as far as I did. Today all I can do is move on and get myself back on track.

I am disappointed to only get to the gym once this week but I don't want to push my shins so I am out for 2 weeks again, I am going to aim for 2 days next week and then maybe back to 3 the week after. I am happy that the weather has been cooperating and I have been able to get out for a couple of walks. I love being outside! I have another IMS appointment today and I am a little nervous for this one as he is going to be putting needles in my neck and groin....I am going to have my MIL come with me so she can drive home - I know how stiff my legs get and I don't think it would be good to drive if my neck was all stiff too!

I will take lots of pictures on Saturday to show everyone what I end up doing with the cupcakes! I am really excited to try my hand at this and hope it turns out! We finally downloaded the pictures off of our camera so I thought I would share a couple!

 She had gotten ahold of the chicken leg and thought it was a pretty good chew toy!

 She likes to escape onto the patio - if we don't open the door she bangs on it and points to the handle!

This is her first try and feeding herself! It was REALLY messy!!!!

Daycare

Today was our first visit to daycare....and it was great! I don't think Grace even knew I was there, she was so busy playing and crawling around. I think I am going to have to send more food than I am used to because she is going to be moving around so much! I am thrilled that she liked the kids and I think she might even have her first boyfriend =) They were flirting and he was showing her everything he can do...it was so cute!

I have been doing good on the 29 points. I made a little good yesterday and decided that Kraft Dinner wouldn't be that bad.....well it was 12 points for 1/2 the box! Needless to say I did not have 12 points left and had to use some of my weekly points. I know it's not something I should be eating but I do like it every once in a while.

I think Grace will only have one nap today so after she eats her lunch I think we will walk over to the local mall so I can pick up the last few things I need for her birthday party and a book to help me with decorating her cupcakes and a good recipe for buttercream icing. I really enjoy baking and stuff and think it would be fun to give the decorating a try!

Day 2

Good Morning! Day 1 of 29 points went pretty good. I was a little over but not too bad, I made some adjustments at breakfast this morning to help. I feel satified with what I had and will keep that change, now I just need to have my snack =) I am also on Day 3 of no more boob for Grace...it's going pretty well. She has been a little cranky and I have been a little sore but we are getting through it quite well.

We are going to be out trying to find the last few things for the 1st Birthday party this weekend and will be having lunch out. I have been on the web looking at what to get and I think I have made my decision - I just have to decide which sub to get.

I was so happy to get back to the gym yesterday! I couldn't quite do everything in the circuit but I had the trainer give me some alternate exercises that I could do at those stations. I missed sweating like that - you just feel so good. I am waiting to hear back about my running class - I am hoping it starts after I go back to work so I am not putting too much on my plate at one time.

well I want my snack so I will talk to you all later!

Monday....

I have hubby home with us today as he has his final exam today! He is studybing hard and I hope he does really well!

So I took the weekend off of everything. I couldn't say I ate terribly by any means but I was not tracking like I should have been. Grace is feeling a better so I cut her off yesterday. I decided I would lose her last 2 feeding all at once as there is just under 2 weeks before she goes to daycare and I really wanted her fully and comfortably on milk by then. She has done great! I am so proud of her.

As of today I am down to 29 points....I have had 36 because of nursing and I think this might be hard. I am ready for the challenge but I did "enjoy" myself a bit this weekend knowing that my weekly points would not be lasting quite long enough. I went shopping last night and picked up some yummy snacks that will hopefully help to keep me full and within my points.

A Loss!

I got on the scale this morning and there was no change....so I waited for some stuff to happen and I got back on the scale and I finally saw a loss of 1.1!!!!! I am very excited! I tracked all week and it paid off! I am going to do the same again this week but this week I can get back to the gym =)

I had my second treatment yesterday and it hurt again.....but I think it`s going to pay off. I can get back to the gym on Monday and I have plans to keep myseld active this weekend. My parents are home now so I will be walking the over 5 km to their house for donner on Sunday and our trip to the zoo should be good for Saturday. i know it won`t be intense tomorrow but it is A LOT of walking! I love going to the zoo and I can`t wait to see Grace`s reaction to some of the animals. The weather isn`t looking great but we have made alternate plans to go to the aquarium if it rains.

Eating Out

So I did pretty good yesterday. I picked the higher of my choices but that was what I really wanted. I did add a ceasar salad I wasn't really planning on, but it was okay.

I had a little problem in the afternoon yesterday. I didn't do as bad as the day before but I still need to get a handle on it. Grace seems to be feeling better but we are going to try bathing her just a little bit earlier to see if we can avoid the over tired. Now that she is feeling better I am back to weening her, she did fine with the first nap and even asked for some milk this morning....well she pointed at it and drank it!

I got my 1 hour walk in yesterday and it felt SO good to get out! The rain even stayed away =) Today I have my second IMS treatment. I really hopes he tells me I can get back to the gym next week. I am going to take my measurements tomorrow and see if there are any changes from the 2 weeks I could get in at the gym...I doubt it but I had decided that I would take my measurement on the 1st of every month to track my changes. I am hoping that my treatment today doesn't mess with my WI tomorrow - I have been tracking since last Friday...it hasn't been great but I am sticking with it! I was proud of myself for tracking over the weekend.... haven't done this in a while!

If you fall....get back up!!!!!!

So I fell yesterday...into the remaining peanut butter eggs in the bag =( But I got back up and  dusted the chocolate peanut butter crumbs off and ate well for the rest of the evening. I don't know what it was but all of a sudden I found myself out of control - the excuses I have come up with so far are:

1. Grace only took at 30 minute nap after a long and fussy monring, she is no eating well because she is not feeling well!

2. I am nursing more again because she has not been eating or drinking enough.

3. I was exhausted!

So now that I have the excuses out of the way, I must move on. I forgot to mention yesterday that I have signed myself up for a learn to run class - I have prepaid for my stroller classes but I have not been able to use all my credit so she is going to transfer it to this for me. I am not sure yet when it starts but I am really excited to do something new!

Today I have lunch with my boss - she wants to go over a few things with me before I come back...maybe she wants to give me a raise =p I have been looking at the menu for the restaurant that we are going to and there really are not any good options! I can't believe how much fat is in their salads! I think I know what I will get, it is one of the better options. I have 2 that I am trying to decide between that won't be too bad. It is an ugly day out but I am going to bundle up and walk to the inlaws for dinner tonight anyway. I need to get over my aversion to rain - I live in Vancouver....it rains all the time~!

I also want to say congratulations to my Canucks! They clinched the Western conference title last night and are breaking club records left right and center! I love hockey!

11 hours!

Grace slept 11 hours last night! It was so nice to get some extra sleep! Another great thing about her getting 11 hours o sleep was that she let her Baba (Russian word for Grandma) put her to sleep!!!!!!This is the first time she has gone down for anyone other than myself or my husband. This is very exciting to me as we leave for Vegas in roughly 6 weeks.

I had a really good day yesterday. I ate well and we got out for a nice walk. I am trying to take different routes to my usual places (we walked to Costco) so it takes a little longer or just to see some different scenery. Today it is raining again so we are going to go to the mall. The dress I bought for motivation has gone on sale further so I would like to try and pick it up (they don't give price adjustments on sale items?...stupid!) at the cheaper price - I would like that extra 25% back!

I am going to search the food court at the mall so I can make a better informed choice than I did on the weekend - I don't need another surprise like that! For dinner we are having eggs - I want to give them to Grace and she can only have the yolks so I figured we could eat the whites instead of wasting them!

Tracking

I have been tracking online and I have to admit that I like it! It is way easier than it was a couple of years ago and it kinda makes it fun.....I have been doing pretty well except for my mistake with the Greek food at the mall this week and I am hoping I see a nice change on the scale this week.

I am looking forward to this weekend. A girl from work and I are going to take out kids to the zoo and for lunch. I don`t have many friends that have kids so it`s nice when we can get together. Her hubby is kinda boring so I prefer when we can get out together on our own. She is also doing WW so we are planning on picking up Subway and eating while we are at the zoo. Her son is 2.5 (my slash won`t work....) and he is really good with Grace so it should be a good day. I am also looking forward to my parents coming home this weekend. they have been gone for almost 2 weeks and we even missed my dad`s 60th birthday. My brother and I have planned to take the family out for dinner and split the cost...he doesn`t want a party and then get him a golf game.

Well that`s it for now!

Sick Baby = Tired Mommy and Daddy

So Grace has gotten one good nights sleep in the last week - which means hubby and I have gotten one good nights sleep too. We are so tired!

Regardless of everything going on I have been trying to eat well. I made a big error today thinking chicken and ceasar salad at the mall would be a good choice! It had pita and tziki with it and was 20 points +!!!!!!!! how can you make chicken and salad that high in points! I guess I will have to stick to just getting the soup and with small bun at Tim Horton's.

I have been making sure to get out for a light walk everyday to just keep myself moving. I have some HUGE bruises from the IMS but I have actually felt a difference. I really hope this works and I can get back to the gym soon! I have my next appointment on thursday and hope he says I can get back to the gym when I can move my legs again ;)

Yesterday we went down to the states to pick up some stuff for Grace's 1st birthday party. It is amazing how much cheaper everyhting is! Things are really starting to come together - we have 50 confirmed at this point but I have a feeling it will be more! I have decided that I will do this once, next year will just be immediate family and any little friends she has. This is too much! I was really happy to find a cupcake mix on sale for $0.88 each - this was a great deal for me! Now I just need to find a good icing recipe and I am set. I want something that is not too sweet so I don't send Grace crazy!

Ow......

So I had my first IMS treatment yesterday and all I can say is ow. I can see the benefits this morning and I hope it keeps getting better as I go for more treatments. Check out my last post for a link as to what it is.

I hopped on the scale this morning ready for the worst and it was only a .8 gain. I am happy with that considering I was up 3 pounds yesterday and I don't think my poor body knows what is happening to it. This week I have had acupunture, massage and now IMS along with trying to seen my daughter! I am also not getting much sleep as Grace is going through something (cold or teeth, not sure yet) and has been up a minimum of 3 times a night. I get up twice and hubby up once but I still wake up everytime. I hope she sleeps good tonight!

I started tracking online this morning and it's kind of cool (I have always been a pen and paper tracker). I hope starting on Fridays will help with the distribution of my weekly points. I am hoping to get out for a light walk today (I am not allowed at the gym for a week as per the physio) if the weather holds.

Have a great Friday!

Mush

My muscles are mush after being "beaten" into submission. It was painful but it was worth it. My shins are feeling a little bit better today and my back is definitely looser. Today I have my first physio appointment and I am nervous. I am probably going to be receiving IMS and I have been warned that it is very painful but very worth it. Anything to get back in the gym and started on the C25K. I see people out running and I just want to join them!

Thank you for all your song suggestions! I am going to have the hubby help me get a new playlist together!

So this morning I got on the scale and had gain 3 pounds! I am not sure what to expect tomorrow as my body is just so weird right now! I am weening Grace from the boob and all these treatments and I seem to be retaining alot of water. I will just have to take what tomorrow give me and move on. We have a pretty relaxed weekend except for a little celebration dinner with my brother and his fiance. She got into grad school this week and I am so happy for her. She may drive me nuts sometimes but she worked her butt off and really deserves it! She is someone who workers 10 times harder than everyone else in her class but still isn't at the tope. This is her second try and she wasn't sure her grades were going to be good enough - I guess the teachers saw her passion and effort and rewarded her. She is hard of hearing (basically deaf in one ear and not great hearing in the other - she is 27 and has to wear 2 hearing aids) and is studying audiology in the hopes to help people like herself. So proud of her!

Well I should get going and do some housework......=p

Long Night!

I am so tired this morning as Grace was up for most of the night. She slept really restlessly and woke up 3 times! The third time she seemed hot and had a bit of a temp so hubby changed her diaper and gave her some tylenol and then I nursed her and rocked her and she slept until 6:15. I had a pretty successful day yesterday but I am not getting the activity in as my legs are still killing me. I have a massage today and physio tomorrow and hopefully I will be back at the gym on either Friday or Monday. I have been doing light walking but I miss the gym!

I had my acupuncture appointment yesterday and I felt really positive about it. She said she gets good results and what is supposed to happen is that is gets you all in "order" and lets you make the right decisions and your body just seems to know what it is doing. It is also supposed to help with your metabolism and get it working properly. Considering the lack of sleep last night I actually feel pretty decent this morning.

I am trying to put together a play list for walking and running and I am looking for recommendations?

Plans

Well now that I have decided not to go to WW I need to make some plans to keep on track. I am going to change my WI day to Friday - not so I can go nuts on the weekend but I would prefer to be starting my week then so if I have a heavy weekend I have the weekly points to use and I am not going over.

I am also trying to help myself a little. I am going to see an acupuncturist today to help with my weight loss. I saw a spot on the Rachael Ray show about how it can help with weight loss, stress and anxiety. I have been having a little trouble sleeping lately and I think it is a little anxiety about going back to work and leaving Grace at daycare. I have woken my husband more than once in the middle of the night while I am still sleeping, when I realize what I have done I wake up and can usually rembmer a "bad" dream about Grace. I am hoping this will help!

I have also made an appointment for Thursday to go to the physiotherapist to see about my shins, I know there is not a lot that can be done for me but I really need to try. I have been avoiding activity this week because they just ache! This is a link for what it is - anyone ever dealt with this?

Busy Wekend

We actually had a really busy weekend! I find sometimes we have nothing and then all of a sudden we have a million things in one weekend! It was a good weekend and nice to see some different people.

I stayed the same again this week. Considering how many higher point days I had this week I am okay with it. I really want to see a loss but I need to eat really well and get my activity in. I did not get my third day in on Saturday because my legs were killing me. I have what is called anterior compartmentalization. Let's just say it hurts and there isn't alot I can do about it. I am going tomorrow for an acupuncture appointment to see if I can get some relief.....They are so sore, I am finding myself favoring them which is giving me cramps in my feet! This sucks!

So I canceled my WW membership - we are trying to save money and I have an old online account from when I worked for them that is still active and will hopefully give me what I need. Being lifetime I can pop into a meeting if I feel I need one. The last few weeks I have found that I am not enjoying the meetings - we have a couple of really yappy people who don't really say or add anything to the discussion and our leader is not strong enough to bring it all back on track. I am also trying something new in the motivation department. I was shopping on Saturday and a dress that I fell in love with a couple of months ago and it is on sale now - so I tried it on. The 14 fit perfectly.....so I bought the 10. I want to wear this dress to one of the 3 weddings we will be attending this summer!

Too Much Pizza!

That is what I are for dinner last night. I had planned on 2 slices and for some reason went back for a third. I really didn't need it and it made me feel crappy. I walked to my parents (about 6 or 7 km) and when I got there I had a cheese stick and some water and waited for everyone else to get there. While waiting for dinner I felt fine, until about 5 minutes before the pizza arrived I was STARVING!!!! There is nothing I can do about it now but work harder and eat better today. I have 2 workouts planned for today which should help and good light meals. I have lunch and a meeting for work tomorrow. I am already planning what I will have and how I can make it work in my points. I ended up with a pretty high calorie week and I have been happy to see the scale has not gone up at all. I know I should be hoping for a loss but maintenance on a week like this is good.

This morning I have stroller strides and then I will be meeting Yvon to pass Grace off so I can get my second workout in for the day. At this point I have planned chicken pot pies for dinner (they make an amazing single serving at the grocery store) with a nice salad. The gym is in the same complex as the grocery store so I am going to take my sweaty self there and pick up dinner when I am done.

I am also proud to say that I am still tracking - that is faithfully since Monday =)

Losing My Marbles *UPDATED WITH A LINK TO A CONTEST*

I just can't seem to keep anything straight....I have gone to the gym twice now when it is closed and today I went for a massage appointment that is not until next week....=( I was so looking forward to that massage and I was SO embarassed. My mother in law came over to watch Grace and I drove all the way over there to just drive back home...boo.

I am happy to say that I did go to the gym last night and had a great workout! There was a different trainer there and she really pushed us. She is from another location and does things a little bit different which makes the work out that much more intense. I can already feel a difference in my muscles and it feels so good to feel strong again...too bad it's not working on my brain! I also had a good rest of the day food wise. I had to reach into my weekly points as my inlaws had picked up fish and chips for dinner. I am not a big fan of fish so I keep the batter on when I eat it. My MIL made a great salad so I tried to fill up on that and the strawberries on the table and then had my pice of fish and a handful of french fries. I am happy to say it did not make a difference on the I can't believe he is 60! My dad is in great shape and walks everyday. I love walking with him because he really pushes me to walk faster! I will be walking the almost 6 km to my parents today for my activity as the weather is actually cooperating!

My plans for tomorrow are to go to my SS class in the morning and then to the gym in the early evening. I will get Yvon to meet me there and take Grace home so I can workout =)

Well, I need to get all my stuff together for the walk, have a great day!

*UPDATE*

 I have been following Rachelle for the last few weeks and today she has posted a contest to win some of her jewelry. You can check out her online store to see some of her amazing pieces and enter her contest!