Wiped

I am totally exhausted! I don't know what it is exactly but I am feeling really run down these last few days. My back is still bothering me but I have been getting to the gym. I am trying to come up with a running schedule that will work for me so I don't lose too much more time with Grace in the evenings. It is too dark for me to get out on my own in the evening after Grace goes to bed. I don't really want to run consecutive days....I'll figure it out! I am looking forward to have my chiropractor appointment for my legs tomorrow and he is going to give me the okay on my new runners. I am really looking forward to making the change =) I really hope it helps with my shins like he thinks it will.

We had our second swimming lesson tonight - the first one was a nightmare and we left before we even got in the water and today I went in with her and it went a little better....she didn't cry too much =( By the end of the class she was happy as a clam!

So my eating has been horrible! I have been really struggling with making good decisions. I just don't know what is going to make this click in for me. I am so unhappy every time I look at my body yet I keep eating chips and chocolate bars and other crap. I feel like a broken record or a yo - yo, I keep getting back on track and losing some weight and then falling off the wagon again. We want to expand our family this time next year and I do not want to be this weight. I want to start at a healthy weight with this next pregnancy, I did not have that with my first and I really want it with my second. I do not want to deliver at 200 pounds or more. I am still 20 pounds heavier that I was when I got pregnant. I am so disappointed with my effort.....