6 Months

My beautiful baby boy is 6 months old today! I can't believe it has been 6 months already - the time is passing WAY too fast! I have days where I struggle being home with 2 kids, I know I am so lucky to get a whole year off but boy is it crazy some days! There are days where I would go back to work tomorrow and there are days where I wish I really never had to. For the most part I am not cut out for the whole stay at home mom role.

6 months later and I am still struggling to get the baby weight off. I feel like a broken record but I just have not been putting the effort in. I have quit pop - it has been 2 days now and I am feeling good about it. I have an old friend I follow on Facebook that has dropped a lot of weight so I asked what her secret was and she said cutting out pop made a huge difference. So far I am down about 2 pounds this week and I just feel better.

I am disappointed in myself for not taking full advantage of my free time with Weight Watchers. I think I will start back up after Christmas - the meetings really do make a difference. I have bought myself a little journal and I want to track what I am eating as well as how I am feeling. The 2 seem to go hand in hand. I am stuck here at over 200lbs and it just makes me sick to think about it. I have never understood why feeling bad about your weight leads to eating like shit....maybe one day I will get it?

I have started an ab challenge I saw on Facebook. My stomach muscles are just shot after pregnancy and I am hoping this will help. The other thing I would like to start is running again. I just need to find a time or partner so I can run at night. I don't have a proper stroller to run with both kids and I would like to go on my own - have a little ME time. I don't know that I will follow a specific program but I would like to work my way up to a solid 5k and see where I go from there. I know the C25K is a great program but I am not sure it's what is right for me.

Well that is all I have for now - hopefully I won't be gone quite so long this time...

FML....

I mean it....my 4 month old and I have Hand, Foot and Mouth. This fucking sucks! Excuse my language but this is so ridiculous and annoying. I had a terrible migraine for 2 days with a sore throat that I thought was going to kill me and just when I thought I was over it I started getting these little bumps in my lip and then on my fingers. My little man has been a real trooper but I have banished my sweet 3 year old in hopes that she won't get this too. She drives me nuts a lot of the times but I really miss having her around. Being cooped up is also really terrible - I feel like a leper. I can't even kiss my little girl =(

Well needless to say I am not getting much activity. I took my little man for a short walk today but this took it's toll on my energy levels. I actually went to the naturopath for some help with my "baby brain". It is so bad I forgot the date I scheduled for myself....like I make the schedule! I felt like such an idiot. I managed to make it work but still....

Needless to say I will not be able to get to WW this week - I have to stay away from people until Tuesday-Wednesday depending on how the sores heal. I will hop on my scale and hopefully see a difference. I really need to get things going again as NONE of my pants fit.....this sucks. For Thanksgiving I had to buy some leggings so I didn't have to wear any maternity stuff. Everything I wear is stretchy....I miss my jeans and I refuse to buy more!

Insiration and Motivation

I need these things badly! My 31 day challenge is 8 days in and I haven't done anything I set out to do. My month started off with my 3 year old getting sick and then me. I have not been able to get myself back on track since. I am very frustrated with myself. I keep thinking about all the things that I need to do while I shove something terrible in my mouth and ignore what I am thinking.

I know what I need to do. I know how to lose weight - I have done this quite successfully in the past. Since having my daughter I have really struggled with weight loss. I seem to binge eat more than I ever remember in the past. I am going to the naturopath on Saturday to see if there is something hormonal that is causing this. I am really looking for any excuse as to why I am failing so miserably...

If anyone out there has a good blog they can recommend I would appreciate it! Most of the people I have followed in the past aren't blogging anymore and I could use some inspiration!

31 Day Challenge

I am challenging myself to 30 days on program (WW) with daily exercise. I bought myself a new Jillian DVD that is a kick boxing workout. I will be tracking daily...good and bad and I will be doing one of my dvds every day. Even Sundays. I need this to kick my lazy ass into gear.

I will be posting my weight and measurements tomorrow night and I will update my weight weekly and my measurement at the end of the month. I will also be posting more often. I started off strong getting back on program but I have really let things slip again. I find myself eating when I am alone...binging really. I just can't get a grip on things. I am so tired all the time and I just let it rule my life. I make sure I get outside with the kids everyday but it just isn't enough. I am not pushing myself. If I stopped by eating what I have with my daughter for lunch and dinner things would be going great...but I am not. I am eating so much crap...it is really a shitty cycle that I need to break.

I can't wait to see what this does for my body....hopefully I can finally start to get rid of all this extra. I have all this extra stuff left over from my pregnancy. I am only about 8-10 pounds from where I was when I got pregnant but my body just does not feel like my own anymore. I need to find my body - not what I had or have had in the past but just something I can feel good and comfortable in.

Anyone else looking for a challenge?

It's Moving!

The scale is moving in the right direction! I was down 1.8! I know it isn't a huge loss but I had my birthday and a day at the fair eating whatever I want in this week and I still lost. It put a big smile on my face and hop in my step.

We had a great long weekend and enjoyed some fun in the sun and some great company. I ate more crap than I should have but I counted it and I have moved on. I definitely find it easier to eat well during the week. The chips don't seem to come out and the meals are more scheduled. I did well but I could have done better. Something to work on this week.

I have been getting more activity in. My hubby and I are trading off so we can both get moving. We have a route that we both take (so we know where the other is). It's about 45 minutes and has a couple of small hills. I am sweaty and feel great by the time I get home. I have been debating about going back to the gym. I know people call it mom guilt but I just don't want to give up that time with both kids. At least I have Matt with my when I am walking. I just don't know if I can get enough of a workout at home. I don't know......

September is going to be a crazy month for us. My little girl is starting preschool and gymnastics in the same week. I am so excited and nervous at the same time. I know she is ready but her listening leaves some to be desired....I just hope she will listen to her teachers better than she listens to us! I am excited to see her blossom - she is such a spitfire and I hope that never changes.

WI Tomorrow

Weigh in tomorrow morning....I am a little nervous. I have had a great week except for today. We took the kids to the fair today and ate some really good crap! I am really hoping I didn't blow a good week in one day. I ate well for breakfast and lunch to help with what I knew I was going eat. It's once a year and really....it is SO good!

I am starting to feel a difference with the way I am eating. I just feel clearer and livelier. It's such a good feeling. I just need to amp up the activity this week. I miss working out but I haven't been able to motivate myself to get back to the gym or anything else for that matter. I have been doing some walking but our weather has been dicey lately and we haven't gotten a rain cover for the new stroller yet. The hubs and I have worked it out that we alternate bed/bath time with Grace and the other takes Matt for a walk. We had such a beautiful July but August has been touch and go. I am hoping to get out some more this long weekend but my parents are moving so we will have to see how it goes.

I forgot to take my measurements last week but I will do it tomorrow. It's always good to be able to count the changes in more than one way ;) I can't wait for this mommy tummy to shrink - my daughter keeps asking me why my tummy is so big.....gotta love a kids honesty....or hide in your car and eat a chocolate bar. I am very proud to say I haven't let myself do that - emotional eating sucks! I am a secret eater - you would usually be able to find hidden wrappers in my car or around my spot on the couch. I am always trying to hide the wrappers because I don't want anyone knowing what I am doing. Why is that you may ask? Well you probably all know, my guess is most of you have been there too. Eating something because you can, knowing you shouldn't and feeling like shit right after you do. The guilt I feel when I do this is stupid, I should never feel guilty for anything I eat. I should also never eat crap just because. I don't need a king size chocolate bar or a big bag of chips. If I want chocolate I can either have a bar or go and get a piece from Purdy's and count the points. Same with chips or anything else I might be "sneaking". Get my portion, get the points and count it.

Well I am pooped. Wish me a good weigh in tomorrow!

Putting It Together

I feel like I have some traction right now. I again had a very good day. I used some of my extra points for my treat tonight. I probably didn't need as much as I had but it was what I wanted. I had another successful trip to the store! I did not buy a chocolate or any other kind of treat- o proud of myself :)

I had a stressful day and again I did not let it get to me. I really thought about scarfing something down to make it all better as I normally would but I didn`t, I had a regular snack and just let it go. I was hoping to get some exercise but it didn`t really happen. I had errands to run this morning and then it was nap time for the kids. My inlaws picked my daughter up early but my son was still asleep so no time for a walk - I worked on the dishwasher instead....I know I can do better tomorrow.

Plan for tomorrow is to walk to the mall just up the street as I have a pair of shoes to return - this will get me about 45 minutes of good walking while pushing a stroller with about 58 or 59 pounds of kids. It should make for decent activity. The stroller just seems to get heavier by the day!

When we were away on vacation I picked up a box of peaches and they are so good! I have been eating 1 or 2 a day and I don`t know what I am going to do when I run out :( The season is so short, I figure my inlaws will be able to bring me back one more box when they go this weekend and then that will probably be it. I guess I will have to move onto the new crop apples. I love fresh fruit that is actually in season!

Tracking

Hello All! I am quite pleased with myself today! I had a great day on program and it feels so good. I even had some points left at the end of the day to have a treat =) I measured and tracked and it was just a great feeling. I used my iPhone app for tracking and it is a nice way of doing things. It makes it so easy.

Today I took both kids grocery shopping on my own. I know it shouldn't be a big deal but my lovely little girl wants to touch everything! I luckily got my son to sleep through all of it but as soon as Grace was done her cookie things got frustrating! I have to say I really wanted to grab a chocolate bar to scarf down in the car! I am very proud to say I didn't! I find myself thinking it will solve something...I know it won't but these habits are so hard to break. I left the store very proud of myself and feeling good. I managed to keep that feeling all day as I made good choices.

I wasn't thrilled with my activity today but I can work on that tomorrow. A walk with a 3 year old isn't very strenuous - those little legs just don't move that fast! Tomorrow I can get a walk on my own and the inlaws are picking Grace up early for dinner and I will walk over with Matt. Do I get extra points for pushing a stroller? If I have both kids it's an extra 50lbs or so! I think that should count for something ;)

I Did It....

I went back to WW this morning to start my 3 free postnatal months as a lifetime member. I was really hoping the policy hadn't changed! Well it was scary but I am happy I did it - not so happy to see my weight but I got on the scale. The number I saw was 202.8....yuck. Highest weight at WW for me. I have 52.8 pounds to lose to get back to my WW goal weight and really where I would like to be. I could and have been smaller but 150 is really my ideal weight. I can't focus on such a large number at this point - I just need to work this off pound by pound. I will track and get my activity while making better choices.

I had an amazing vacation with my family but I am always happy to be home and back in my own space. I love going away but always look forward to my own space. We were away with my inlaws which is nice because my daughter adores them and they are always willing to get up with her =) The downfall is always having someone else around and no real time for yourself.

I bought some good groceries last night but I am worried about keeping the chocolate bar out of my cart. I know I can still have one but the problem is I have been having too many....and they have been big ones. I found/find myself wanting to just eat crap....I thought this would improve as Matt started sleeping more but it doesn't seem to be helping. I am hoping with more exercise and better choices this will calm down.

Well tomorrow is my birthday so I wont be tracking but I will on Monday and I will let you know how it goes!

1 Week

1 week until I rejoin weight watchers and finally lose all of this baby weight. We are leaving on holiday for a week on Monday and on Saturday morning I will weigh in for the first time officially. I have jumped back over 200....I was never going to weigh that again. I don't know where it all went to shit but it did and I need to get a hold of it again. I have been eating like crap and I really feel it. I have been moving more but not enough for all the junk I have eaten.

So, I will be going to Weight Watchers and taking advantage of being a lifetime member and 3 free months after baby. I don't know that I will stay with WW after the 3 months as money is always a little tighter while on mat leave. I know I won't be down to my lifetime as that is just over 50lbs. at this point. I will be following the plan 7 days a week - not 4 or 5 like I have in the past.....the whole week! I will also be moving more. I have been debating about canceling my gym membership. Being on leave it is difficult to get to the gym. I am home all day with both kids and just don't feel comfortable taking the kids to the care at the gym. I think I might cancel and just do stuff at home. I have everything I need here. I could go when my husband gets home but then there is no time to spend as a family and I am still breast feeding so leaving Matt for too long can be hard.

I am also cleaning up my blog, the look is too much for me. Bear with me I am not good at this stuff! You would think I was 95 not almost 31.... ;) I am also looking for some new blogs to read - please leave me a suggestion of your favorite so I can expand my reading list!

I will be away for the week but back at it on Saturday August 24....one day before my birthday :)

And Then There Were Four!

On June 12, 2013 at 4:56 we welcomed Matthew into our family. After a very crazy, scary delivery our beautiful baby boy entered this world with all 10 fingers and toes!

It has been a crazy 5 weeks of adjusting to being a family of 4 but I would not trade it for anything. I decided to keep Grace (our 3 year old) in daycare for 6 weeks. I have until the end of the month to spend some great time bonding with my amazing sun before we turn the world upside down and I have 2 kids at home. It will be an adjustment but I am really looking forward to enjoying the rest of the summer with my daughter. I am just hoping I can find enough to keep her busy!

Weight wise things are going okay. I finished my pregnancy at 227 lbs. What a terrifying number....I could not believe the number.....I am now down to 197.7. I have been lower but now that the fluid ( I apparently had loads!) is all gone I am starting to struggle a little. It has everything to do with what I have been eating and the fact that I am still not moving much. After a very hard pregnancy and crazy delivery I am slow and sore. I just feel so out of shape! Things will change when my daughter is home because I won't be able to eat the crap I have been eating because she is not allowed to eat that way. I really need to eat more like my daughter does! I feed my child so healthy and then I eat crap after she goes to bed. A good excuse is that I am REALLY tired, but excuses aside after my 6 week check on Wednesday I need to get my shit together.

I am afraid that I will not lose the weight......I didn't manage to lose it with my daughter and I can't fail again....

9 Weeks Out

I can't believe I only have 9 more weeks to go! I also can't believe I have MORE weeks to go. I am tired and sore and would like to get to the end. I have a lot to do until the baby comes so the 9 weeks is a good thing. I feel like I can't get it all done - partially because I have been pretty lazy in my down time.

Yesterday we had Grace's 3rd birthday party and it was great! It was cold and a little wet but she had a blast and loved that all of her little friends came! I have learned my lesson and from now on Grace's birthday parties will all be held indoors. April is such a fickle month.

As the end of this pregnancy nears I have become more comfortable with the ideas of post baby weight loss. I have been thinking more and more seriously about the activity I want to do and what I will be eating. I have been eating A LOT of chips during this pregnancy. That is something I will need to change. I have decided to start back with Weight Watchers Online after about 3-6 weeks. I started back in meeting too soon after Grace and ended up discouraged. There was still too much going on and I just couldn't get my shit together. This time it has to be different and I will really have to put the effort in.

GD Free!

I finally had my doctors appointment today and I do not have gestational diabetes! I was starting to worry! Everything is good and healthy with me and the baby and no surprise to me but the baby is measuring 2 weeks ahead! I knew this was going to be another big baby! Grace was 9 lbs when she was born.

On that topic - my baby girl is going to be 3 tomorrow! I can't believe it has been 3 years already....

 

 

I have taken tomorrow off to prepare for her birthday party on Saturday. She is so excited for all her little friends to come to her birthday party :)

 

I have planned  a simple party with some very kid friendly foods.

 

At my doctors appointment I hit 212 - wow that is a scary number in print for me. This is the heaviest I have ever been. I know it is baby but it still really freaks me out. I was 210 at home so that is 18 pounds total at 30 weeks. I am hoping to keep this under control for the next 10 weeks. I have been making a real effort to pick the right foods. One of the ladies I work with is doing a juice fast with her husband and it has me thinking again about getting a juicer. I know it is best to eat the fruit or vegetable but it couldn't hurt to get some extra in all of us - especially when  I start nursing. I need to do some research and finally make up my mind. I go between smoothies and juicing and I know either would be a good choice. Anyone have any real pros or cons on either?

Walking

I got out for a walk yesterday and it felt so good =) I really should say waddle.....This time last pregnancy and I was still walking around like a non-pregnant lady, 7 miles around the sea wall and I was fine. I can barely make it around the block this time. It felt good at the time but I think I am still paying for it today.

I said I was going to take a pic of this giant belly - well the hubby did without me noticing so here it is:

 

I cannot believe how big my belly is!

 

 

I have another ultrasound on Monday to make sure the baby is growin properly. I can't remember if I mentioned but I have a cord abnormality - there are supposed to be two arteries and one vein and mine only has one arterie. This can lead to smaller babies in some cases. Grace was 9 pounds and honestly if this one was a little smaller I wouldn't be disappointed ;)

 

Since I was playing around in the pcitures I figured I would leave you one more of my adorable little girl enjoying some nice weather over Easter weekend! I can't believe she is going to be 3 on Friday!

 

 

Blob

That is how I feel. I deeparately miss working out and I am feeling so slow. Most of me aches and the rest of me just doesn't really want to be moved. I have been trying to eat right and drink lots of water but this baby must be huge because I feel like all I can do is eat a little and then eat again and again and again.

I have been trying to think of different ways to move but everything leaves my lady bits sore. There doesn't seem to be a single exercise that doesn't bother me. Even just lifting some light weights seems to have a negative effect at this point. This has been so frustrating!

I haven't heard anything from the doctor about my GD test so I am hoping that is a good sign. Who knows for sure. This baby seems enormous so I can't be sure! Grace was 9 pounds and I don't remember feeling this big! This baby is so far outfront I can't believe it! I need to take a pic to show you guys the size of this belly!

The Test

So I had my GD test on Tuesday and let me tell you it was disgusting! The stuff they make you drink made me feel terrible! I don't have my results yet but if they are inconclusive then I will just be diabetic because I am not doing that again.

It's been a long week - my co workers are losing their minds and Grace has some allergies/a cold so I really feel for her. I did finally find a comfortable way to sleep. Looks like I will be on the couch for the next 11 weeks! I can't believe I am 29 weeks already! So fast! I cannot wait to meet this baby!

This morning I was browsing the internet and they had the before and after pictures of the Biigest Losers this season. It hit me pretty hard that after this baby comes I have a long way to go. Close to Biggest Loser way to go......I have never weighed over 200 pounds but that is my reality now. 207 and 11 weeks to go. This really freaks me out! I know I can lose the weight - I have done it before but this is just such an overwhelming thought right now. I am going to need to lose close to 80 or 90 pounds by the time all is said and done. EEK!

Well I can't worry about it too much right now. What I can do it eat well and have a healthy baby, the rest will come after.

All The LittleThings

All the little things that run through your mind.....all the time. I keep thinking about how much out lives will change in the next 3 months. Friday marked exactly 3 months to my due date. I keep feeling this amazing little life moving around inside of me and I cannot wait to meet him or her. To finally have them on the outside and get to hold them and touch their sweet little face and hands and feet. I am also a little worried about how Grace is going to react. She has been the center of attention for so long now - I hope it's not too hard for her to share the spot light.

I have also been thinking about gestational diabetes a lot lately. I have to go through the 2 hour test next week and I am really not looking forward to it. I did not have it with Grace but I have had everything I didn't have this time around so why not toss GD in there too! I was at a ladies night on Friday and one of the other moms made me pretty paranoid....She was just trying to be nice and say that if it was the case she would be there for me because it was so hard when she had it. I don't know - I feel so irrational sometimes. I am feeling very run down and I think it is making me a little crazy ;p

My husband has been so amazing, especially these last few long weeks. I haven't been sleeping well so he has started sleeping in the other room so I can have more space and sleep wherever I find comfort. He has also been helping so much with Grace. I really needed a nap yesterday and he took Grace downstairs and kept her busy for hours so I could get some sleep. Such a great guy!

Well I am again trying to get into smoothies - any suggestions?

Stress

I am really starting to stress about the little things. Leaving my job in the hands of someone I don't really trust, losing weight nad house cleaning.

Why are these things running in my mind when I should be relaxing or sleeping? I really need to just clear my mind out and get over it....The silly things I think about in my quiet time is just rediculous.

I am really hoping to get back to the gym next week for some light work outs. work has been so busy for hubby and I that I haven't been able to get there after work this week as planned. It has been raining cats and dogs here so I haven't been able to get out at lunch either. I know I won't melt in the rain but this is not normal rain....it's Vancouver rain. Trust me, it is a whole nother type of rain and it has been especially heavy. I hate when the bottom of my pants get wet and I have to sit at my desk all day. The walks at night with Grace aren't really what I am looking for but I will take what I can get ;)

I know I am behind the times but I have recently started reading The Hunger Games Trilogy and I LOVE it! What great books!

Well tomorrow is going to be a hard day eating wise - business lunch at my fave Itialian place and a pizza party at my fave pizza place for dinner! I know they say when pregnant you can eat more...not so much for me. This baby takes us so much space I can barely finish a meal most of the time! But still - I need to try and get some extra fruits and veggies in to help combat the rest of the meals!

Wow

It is amazing what a couple of little pills a day can do! Now that I am not sick anymore I have gained 6 pouunds! It's been just over 1 month since I started the diclectin and I managed to put on 6 pounds! I am offically at my heaviest weight EVER. It's kinda scary. I feel better but it also scares the shit out of me!

As I watched the scale at the doctors office yesterday all I could think about was "How and I ever going to get all this weight off?". I know I just need to concentrate on being happy and healthy through this pregnancy but I keep getting caught up in what I am going to do after? How am I finally going to lose all this weight?

 I really need to train my mind away from this but....

Recommendations?

I don't have much today today but I was wondering if anyone could point me in the direction of some of your fave blogs? A lot of the people I have been following seem to have taken some time off and I would like som new reading material. Recommendations?

No Gym

I had the longest day ever at work and sadly I missed going to the gym. I have to say that I am really disappointed. I was so looking forward to a good sweat! My body is achy all the time but I still think it would be a good thing getting back to the gym. I always feel better when I am moving more.

I bought a pregnancy workout magazine and the workout that they have in it is great. The exercises are seem like they will help during labour and hopefully with carrying this extra load. If I can keep and maybe gain a little extra muscle tone it might help with these pains.

I have been trying to add more fresh fruits and vegetables into my diet but this weird weather all over the US has been causing me some trouble. Everything is so expensive and I can`t stand melon! All I see in every fruit salad is melon and I hate it! I did manage to find some nice strawberries and they even taste good! It can be so hard this time of year. I usually love pineapple right now but unfortunately I barfed after eating some a couple of weeks ago and now I am afraid of it.....boooo!!!!

The Wheels Keep Spinning!

Again I found myseld stressing about my weight today. I managed to put it to the back of my mind for a while but it keeps creeping in. I find myself daydreaming about a workout schedule and what I should/want to be eating. I guess it can be a good thing?

I got sick again last night - I really need to make sure I am on top of my pills so I can stop this cycle. I am very tired right now and achy and I just want to feel good again. I am hoping to get back to the gym this week and I think Wednesday will be the start. Being off work for 2 weeks has screwed up the hubs and I at work and unfortunately he won't be able to get off work early enough for me to get to the gym. I miss my workouts so much! My body has been so achey this pregnancy - the extra 30 pounds has really had an effect on me this time. I really regret not trying harder the lose the weight after Grace. Not that I can change anything now but hopefully it will help me motivate myself after this little bundle arrives.

The Future

It has been a really long time since I have posted. This pregnancy has run me down and now that I have started the diclectin I am feeling much better!

We went for a beautiful family trip to California and Disneyland! It was amazing! Seeing Grace experience Disneyland was really amazing. All 4 grandparents came with us so that was a huge help. I am so tired but it was worth it!

When we were on the second part of our trip with my parents at their trailor I kept seeing magazines about weight loss. I have gained 11 pounds in 6 months and I am starting to.....panick about losing the weight. I see all these celebs and others that just drop the weight and I never managed to lose the weight from the first! I don't want to be panicking about this. I was to enjoy being pregnant but I can't help but think about my "plan of action". I have to admit that I am scared.......scared that I won't be able to do it. That I will keep struggling the way I have.

Right now - I need to put that all aside and concentrate on being healthy for this baby. I will have to concentrate on the weight loss later, when it is actually time.