I Can't Hide

Here I am, I have been hiding. I have been trying to hide from everyone...including myself. I had such a great week last week and to only lose .8 was such a huge disappointment and I let it eventually derail me. I have been over eating and I am not really sure why. I was talking with my hairdresser/friend last night and we were both saying we are feeling the same way. Neither one of us can quite figure out what it is. I am not sure if it's the weather (turning darker), a side effect from the IUD we are both using or a bit of depression (we have both had babies in the last year). I find I get off track so easily right now and I don't think I have felt good about myself in a very long time....I am going to work at getting my eating back on track for the rest of today and the week but I can't do much on the activity side as I am not feeling so hot (something in my chest). I need to regain control over my life and I think I need to start taking time for me. I am going to talk to hubby about getting atleast 30 minutes a night to myself. I want to get the key for our pool so I can start using that. I love to swim and it makes me feel so good! Here is to better days!

Thank you to my followers (I can't believe I actually have followers) for all your comments and encouragement, it helps to keep me motivated!

What keeps all of you going?

Persistence Is Key

Well I didn't let me small loss get me down. I am just going to keep on keepin' on and it will eventually get there. A loss is a loss and I just need to keep working at it. I was good with my eating yesterday for the most part but I did have some ice cream for dessert, I think I am going to keep with my portion sized Bryers bars from now on. I had forgotten how many points ice cream is! Oh well, moving on to today. Today I am having a no car day, I am trying to cut down on my driving to help save a little money. I have some mail to do so I think we will go for a nice walk before lunch and get my 20 minutes of activity in for the day. I really need to work at getting moving more, I am always walking around but not at a good enough pace. I also need to add some weights into my day.  I am going to try and do some when Grace is taking her afternoon nap, I have some Shape magazines that have some good routines in them that I will try. I think I need to go through them again and cut out what I want to follow so I have them easy at hand. I am going to try baking today and not going too crazy eating it all...this is going to be hard!

.8

Well I guess it wasn't quite as good as I thought it would be. I didn't think yesterday would make that big of a difference. Maybe I am guessing too much, have to get a new battery for my scale. So I was 177.4, it is a good loss for nursing but not what I saw on the scale earlier in the week.  A bit disappointing but it will get better as I add in my activity. We have a 2nd birthday party to go to today and it is close by so we have decided to walk, that will help with the bit of cake I will have. It's a new week and down is down =)

Must Plan Ahead

That is the advice I must follow when out of the house. Today I went shopping across the line with my mom, mother in-law and daughter and I only planned until snack. Ooops =) I had a good breakfast (multigrain cheerios) and a good snack (Fiber 1 bar) and then I decided that I would just eat at the food fair. I decided that I would have McDonalds (the food fair is terrible in this mall), I got a chicken club and fries, next time I will plan ahead and atleast know how many points my lunch would be. Needless to say I am a little over my target for the day.. I hope this doesn't effect me too much tomorrow. I am hoping for good numbers but I do have to keep in mind that my daily total is not suppose to have me lose alot of weight so as to hopefully not effect my milk supply. I would love to see atleast 1 pound....I know it doesn't sound like alot but they say that is what is usual for nursing moms, if I get more I'll take it too but I will have to be careful that it's not too much more. Feels kind of weird to be saying that but I really don't want to effect my supply.

Tomorrow I am going to have a bit of a treat day, I have decided that after I weigh in I can have a treat day. We have a Canucks game on tv tomorrow night and I think I might make nachos =)

Have a great weekend!

In Control!

It feels so good! I finally feel like I have a handle on things again. I have been really good about the choices I make and tracking my points. I need to start working on getting the activity back up but for now I am really happy with myself. I did a mid week weigh yesterday and was very happy with what I saw! I am actually looking forward to going back to my meeting on saturday and getting on that scale! Yesterday I picked up some sun chips while at costco, what a great treat for 4 points! I love chips and this will really help keep me from over doing it! Here is to keeping this going!

Fussy Baby

I had last night just me and Grace and it was a long one! Dear hubby is back at school for one night course and I was excited to sit back and watch the first televised Canucks game! I love hockey season!!!!!!! I know it's just preseason and none of the big guns were playing last night but it was still exciting! Until Grace got really fussy, she didn't want to eat or sleep so I packed her into the car to see if my dad would go for a walk with me (too dark to walk by myself). It was too bad that my parents had friends over there but I did go over and sit with them and she calmed right down =) I was very proud of myself, I did not let this derail my eating! I tracked everything again yesterday and did well, I have even started again this morning! Feels so good!

On Track

I feel in control today for the first time in a long time! Yesterday was a horrible day, I was in a terrible mood and could not snap out of it. I ate terribly and paid for it, I was up at 2:30 or so sick to my stomach. We were woken up at 4, 5 and then again at 6 by the sound of a trucks back up sensor. I got annoyed enough by 6 that I went to investigate what the heck was going on! I saw one of our neighbors sitting on his truck bed watching the action, apparently it had rained so hard the storm drain had backed up and flooded 4 units in our complex. Well to make up for the sleep I lost my perfect baby slept until 8! It was great and gave me a much better outlook today. We had a busy morning and I still stayed on track and tracked everything I ate. I upped my water and dairy intake today to make sure I don't effect my milk supply. It's a tricky thing losing weight while nursing, it can make it a bit easier but I have to be careful to not do it too quickly or I can stop my milk. I didn't get much activity in today because we were so busy running errands and a quick visit with my brother there wasn't any time left for me.....must work on that tomorrow.

Back At It

Boy was I ever feeling sorry for myself yesterday! There was nothing that could pull me out of my self loathing bitter mood! Not even a Grace smile could keep me up for more than a couple of minutes. But I did it, I went back to Weight Watchers this morning and I am really happy I did. My mom couldn't come with me today but will be coming with me next week. I will officially start tracking tomorrow and have Saturday as my weigh in day. I am going to keep my Wednesday weigh in to help me keep on track. I am going to re-start my stats as of today so I can track my progress better. My weigh in today was high but after the couple of days I have had I was not at all surprised. When I get in one of those moods it is not a good thing. I bought a monthly pass and will have to register my credit card which should keep me pretty honest, I do not want to waste money when the budget is as tight as it is right now.

Today hubby and I are off to see Salt and Grace will be hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa! I am really looking forward to just relaxing and watching a movie.

Sick and Tired

I am sick an tired of myself. I just can't seem to get my sh!t together! I have been getting good sleep for about 2 or 3 months now and I think I should be able to get myself back on track. I just keep over eating, I don't know what it is. I am alone most of the day and I don't seem to be able to control myself. I have tried not keeping the stuff in the house, that leads me to binge when I am out, instead of a 100 cal chocolate bar I will eat a full size one. I don't know.

So I am going back to WW tomorrow morning. I am trying a new meeting and have invited my mom to join me. My mom is also over weight and has been for a long time. My brother is getting married next summer and I know we both want to look our best so I thought it would be nice for us to do this together, to support each other. I have chosen a new meeting location, one I have never been to and one I never worked at. I thought the shame of going where I had worked and new the ladies was going to be a driving force for me but really it only pushed me in the wrong direction.

I really need to take this seriously. I am so sick of feeling bad about myself, looking in the mirror and hating what I see. It's time for me to change.

Back to Normal

My husband is back at work today and it is so nice! I do miss him but it is enough work looking after one baby! Why are men such babies when they are sick? Oh well. So I ate well yesterday but I did not keep up with my tracking. I did catch it up this morning but I really need to remember to just do it throughout the day. I took Grace yesterday and got out for a nice walk to Costco so I could pick up the rest of the groceries. It felt so good to be outside, the weather isn't sunny but it is nice and crisp, perfect walking weather! So I have decided I can only have toast once per week (I think I will save it for the weekend) because I do not measure my peanut butter or the bit of Nutella I put on. I know it is playing a big part in why the scale isn't moving in the direction I am hoping for. I am not making the progress I want but I am not putting in enough effort either.

 My goal today is to journal everything I eat in a timely manner.

Quick Post

I have a sick baby on my hands...well not baby but husband, it just feels like a baby! I was up at my weight in this morning. It is only .7 and I know exactly why. I have not been tracking like I should. I have been having toast for breakfast and a little more peanut butter makes it on to the toast every morning. I am happy to report I have lost another inch off my waist! Nothing else has changed but that makes me happy! Well I should get going, have a great day!

Busy Morning

It is only 12:30 and I feel like I need a nap too! Grace was up a little earlier this morning and it is making the day feel VERY long! We went to the stroller walking group this morning and had a great workout. I love the workout and then after we all sit around and talk about baby things. This is great for me because I don't really have alot of friends who have kids, more acquaintances. I find this part a bit of a challenge as well because they all go to Tim Hortons or Starbucks after for treats and I am trying really hard to not eat those things as well as to not be spending as much money. Today I brought 2 of the muffins I baked yesterday (they are small) and an extra bottle of water so I wouldn't be tempted. So far I have not given in and I just meet them back at the food court. We were then off to the office to drop off the work I have been doing for them. It is going to be weird, when I go back to work my office will have moved. It almost makes me sad to miss that but really happy at the same time because I won't have any of the moving stress. Now we are home and I really need some lunch =)

Awards Time!

I got 2 awards this week! Thank you Sarah and Christina! I have never had awards before...let alone followers! I am so excited! I copied this from Sarah's blog so I would know what I was doing!





1) Post who gave you the award.
         So as I mentioned before it was Sarah and Christina. I would link your blogs but I have no idea what I am doing =)


2) State ten things you like - this is hard!

1. Quiet night with hubby and baby - just the 3 of us =)
2. Date night
3. Walking the Seawall - so peaceful!
4. Shopping or baby! ~ I might enjoy it for myself once I hit goal!
5. Pedicures - I love having pretty toes!
6. Going to movies
7. Cooking for people - I love it when people enjoy what I make!
8. Blogging -  I love having this release that it all for me, it really helps that people are actually reading and commenting now - thank you!
9. Time with friends
10. bath time with my daughter - so much fun!

3) Give this award to three other bloggers and notify them with a comment 


The three bloggers I am passing this on to are:
 1. MIssy at The Ups and Downs if Losing Weight


 2.Michaela over at Cupcakes to Carrot Sticks


3. Kelsey at Fat Girl COnfessions 2.0


I am sorry but I have no idea how to link a blog here. These ladies are a great read and so very inspiring to me! 

I'm Back

I had a wonderful weekend and just didn't really have much to blog about so I stayed away. I came and read what everyone had to say but I didn't have anything to say myself so I took a break. My mom brought back my dvd of Dancing With The Stars and I am really excited to try it out today or tomorrow. I have been eating pretty good and keeping up with my activity. I took yesterday off from working out at all as it was such a yucky day! Today is looking a little better so I think we might bundle up for a bit of a walk today and then tonight I have dinner with my friend. I am so looking forward to a little adult time to just chat =) Well I still don't have much to say...I am going to figure out the awards and do that next!

I needed to add something - I did my new dvd and it was funny! I am not very coordinated or a good dancer but it was kinda fun. If you are a dancer it would be a really good workout! If you are not...even better ;)

Long day

Today has been a long day! I got up this morning and played with Grace for a bit and then had to go into my office to drop off the work I had done and pick up what I need to finish for them. It will be so nice to make a little extra money. It is amazing that I get paid to stay home with my amazing baby for a while year but it is a little tight when you are only making a max on 55% of your income...I am not. We then spent the afternoon at home. I am finding myself over eating at this time so I put my workout off until then. Today I did a workout with my Bosu. I did it with old stuff from when I was working with a trainer a couple of years ago. It felt great but I could only get 25 minutes before she woke up and got annoyed at me =) She wanted me to play with her. My mom and dad are going across the line for the weekend and I am going to get my mom to pick up one of the Dancing With the Stars workout dvd's because I think Grace might like the music and it would be fun for me and she might even like to watch me move like that. We'll see if I even like it.....Working out in the afternoon helped curb my eating and when I did have a snack it was a fresh peach with vanilla yogurt and it was so good!

When my husband got home from work we had to go for an interview with a daycare we are looking into when I go back to work....I am so not looking forward to this but it was inevitable. I know it is 7 months away but these first 5 have gone so fast it is going to be here any minute! You guys know what I am talking about =)

Awards!

I won my first award! Thank you Sarah! I am going to have to do the award another day and I am a bit crunched for time today! I am fitting in a quick blog while Grace sleeps and before I start doing some work =p I have picked up a bit of at home work to do to help generate some extra income while I am on mat leave and I need to try and get it done asap!

Well to my surprise this morning I was down 1.3! That puts my down a total of .2 since I started really tracking! It doesn't seem like alot but it is going in the right direction and after the weekend I had that is amazing. So today I have started off right and I am even back at tracking! I need to make it past the first day this time! I was going to do the Wii today but we are going to dinner at the inlaws and I am going to walk over with Grace and that takes me about 45 minutes at a really good pace so I will use that for my activity today.

Well I had better get to work and thank you again for the award Sarah  - it means so much to me that people are actually reading what I am putting out there!

Feels Like Monday

Well I had a wonderful long weekend. My hubby and I got our basement cleaned and organized and now we can start working on the closet and the storage/laundry room. It felt so good to not be tripping over things! Now we just have to keep it this way! I wish I could clean up my eating habits this way...I ate horribly all weekend long! I need to get my husband on track and then maybe we won't eat a bunch of crap on the weekends. I am one who cannot give up any one food or food group, it is disastrous for me....It leads to binging which is never a good thing. I am having to move from the Shred challenge to the 20 minutes min of activity a day as the Shred is too hard on my shoulder and it keep kind of freezing up on me, not a good thing when I am constantly carrying 15 pounds around! I have pulled out the personal trainer for the Wii and will start that tomorrow. Today I did my 45 minute deal at the mall with all the other moms. It felt good to get back at it after missing last week for the doctor.

FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS!!!!!!!!

Long Weekend!

Oh how I love and hate the weekends all at the same time =) Last night we went to the PNE and had a couple of treats. There are so many bad/good things to try. We even tried deep fried Oreo's and they were so good! It's a goo thing the PNE is only in the summer and I only go once. I have had to take the last 2 days off the shred but I have been walking alot to make up for it. My upper body has just not been feeling so strong the last few days and with carrying the baby all the time I need to give my arms and chest a break. My shoulder has been bothering me for a couple of weeks and it just felt like I had no strength left in my arms. So walking it is. I would like to find another option but I am not sure what to make that. Maybe I can find a more cardio video that I can do when I need a break for the arms. Today we all went and tried a new walk at the beach and it was so nice to walk along the water. It's a bit of a shorter walk then we are used to but not too bad. Have a great weekend!

Day 2

I am sitting here blogging while trying to cool down enough after the Shred to get in the shower! I sure work up a good sweat in that short amount of time. I am hoping I cool down quick as baby is napping and I would love to get my shower in before she wakes up. I bring her down with me and put her in her swing. She watches for a while and then falls asleep =)

I am a little sore this morning and had trouble with some of the upper body work on the dvd today. I have a bit of a weird shoulder so I just did what I could and occasionally subbed in a different movement. Mt husband and I had our date last night and it was so nice. We went and saw  The Expendables and it was so bad that it was good. The acting was terrible and that made it funny. I wasn't expecting much but it was good. We shred some popcorn and m'n'm's and got a pop. It was so nice. Not the best for the points but it is yesterday and today is fresh.

Well I should hop in the shower!

Thank you Syl!

Today is September 1st and I started my 30 day shred challenge! It felt so good doing the workout this morning and it has left me craving more =) I had my husband take my before pics last night and I think I could have cried myself to sleep looking at those. We have been looking at alot of old pics and it makes me miss the body I had, I want it back...and I am going to get it! I have started today off right with the Shred and journaling. I just need to keep it up. Tonight my inlaws are coming over to watch Grace and Yvon and I are off to a movie! I am so looking forward to some time with my hubby =)

I weighed in this morning and I was down 1.1 for a start weight of 177.7 and my measurements are:

Bust 42", Waist 43" (down 1 ;)), Hips 43"

So again, thank you Syl for inspiring and motivating me =)

So here are my before pics.