Off and on

So I had a great day yesterday and today I was just hungry. I have been eating almost all day long! I am not making the best choices but not the worst either. I just tried my first Bryers low cal ice cream bar and it was so good! I will definitely buy them again. I sadly did not get my walk in today or tonight. I had to miss my group this morning for a doctors appointment (infected ingrown toenail...yuck and ow!) and then it rained so hard that my dad and I postponed our walk. It has just been disgusting! It's supposed to be better tomorrow...*fingers crossed*. I start my 30 day shred challenge tomorrow and I am really looking forward to it, I can feel the burn already ;p I will post my measurements and my weight in the morning along with a before picture!

Snacking

Good Afternoon! I am having a great day so far. We were up at our usual 7 this morning and I took advantage and went grocery shopping earlier than usual. I didn't need much but I did stock up on some snacks for me to have in the evening. I find that I really crave something in the evening while watching tv. I picked up some pudding cups, some cheescake jello cups and then some Bryers low cal ice cream bars =) I haven't tried the bars before so I am looking forward to that. I am hoping that having some better options in the house will stop me from grazing in the evenings. I even convinced my husband to walk up to the store with me the other night to get a treat. We both got a little thing of ice cream....3 days later and mine is gone, his still hasn't been touched! Why can't I be like that?

Well I am going to take the opportunity to walk to my inlaws for dinner tonight because it has turned into a beautiful day! Grace and I sat on the patio while I ate lunch and it was so nice. Gotta enjoy it while it lasts. Tomorrow (weather permitting) my dad and I are going to go for a nice long walk around Burnaby Lake (I don't know the distance but it takes us about 1 1/2 hours). I love walking with my dad because he really pushes me. For a 59 year old he can really motor!

Effort

That is what I am lacking right now. I am just not putting the effort in. I started off tracking my points and then for some reason I just stopped. I have everything sitting upstairs by the computer where I spend the mornings with Grace. I am going to track my points tomorrow and I am going to walk to my inlaws for dinner. It is a great 50 minute walk and it makes me feel so good. I love how I feel after I workout and I crave that feeling, why do I not give into that craving as much as I do the one for chocolate or ice cream?

I have had a great weekend and I am really looking forward to starting the Shred challenge on Wednesday. I haven't done the Shred since I found out I was pregnant over 1 year ago! It is going to kick my a$$!!!!!! but I am going to love it. I was thinking I would leave my old measurements and go with my old time line but I think I will shift things and do it with the Shred. So Wednesday morning before I do the video I am going to weigh myself and take my measurements, I really want to see what 30 days of good effort can do for me. I will miss 4 days because I don't think I will be able to get the timing done to go for my walking group and get the video done. I am really looking forward to a good sweat =)

Yo-Yo

Well I gained back every little bit that I lost last week. I am very disappointed in myself but I am not going to let this stop me. I went downstairs and uncovered my journal (it has sat unused since the 21st...no wonder I gained) and measured my cereal and wrote it down. I am really looking forward to moving forward today and not concentrating on the past week.

This week:

I will track everything
I will get more active

and I will lose weight.

*Sigh*

It's been an interesting couple of days. I have been thinking about my weight loss and what I need to do and why I have not had much success in recent months. I have realized some things about myself and yet still have some questions that I think will take a long time for me to figure out. Even with all this realization I am still struggling with some of the same things and doing some really stupid things and making the same stupid choices. I was going to say mistakes but they aren't, I am in control of what I do and I am aware of what I am doing.

Tomorrow is my birthday and we are going out for dinner, nothing fancy just the 3 of us at Fat Burger. This is one of my fave places to go for a treat. They make the best burgers in the area! Mmmmmmmm =) This is not going to be good for mt points but it's my birthday and I am going to treat myself. We are going to go for a nice walk after dinner and just relax together the 3 of us =) I can't wait! I crave time just the 3 of us more than I crave chocolate....and that's alot!

I went to my mall walk this morning and it was so nice to get out for a bit. I am going to go for a nice walk during the day with Grace and enjoy the sun =)

Try Again!

My laptop is driving me nuts! Halfway through my post I lost it...grrrrrr!So here we go again! Syl over at LIVE, RUN, SMILE has put out a challenge to do the 30 Day Shred starting September 1st and I am in! This is just what I needed, something to focus on instead of flying by the seat of my pants because it is not working. I almost gave myself free run to go nuts this week! I thought "hey why not start over on the 1st"....that would be stupid, that's why! Why would I let myself get behind again....I know I have had a really bad week with all the crap and celebrating but come on, stop with the cycle! I am going to start the challenge on the first but I am sticking with my start weight from before and the measurements from then too. I will have to take a picture to post, I think I will do that in my workout gear right before I start the first video. To make it work I will have to do it first thing in the morning right after I feed Grace and before I shower! I will take Tuesdays off because that is when I have my mall group and not alot of time in the morning. That will be my only day off during the week and on the weekends I can have Yvon sit with Grace to keep her company while I do the video. Her naps are too unreliable to depend on that.

I had my birthday dinner last night and it was great! Everything was so yummy and the company was nice. I am finding now that I am home on my own so much I get overwhelmed in big groups...it's starting to get better but I find I almost need to retreat a little and I am thankful when Grace wants to be fed and we can have some quiet time. I am sure it will get better as I get out more. My brother and fiance got me just what I wanted.....a Magic Bullet!!!!! I really, really wanted one! Does anyone have a good recipe for a smoothie? I can't wait to start using it! I am also going to try my hand at baby food. I would like to make all of Grace's food if I can. I think it would just be better her.

Well tonight I am going to walk over to my inlaws for dinner and I can't wait to spend some more time in the beautiful sun =)

Weekend

I love the weekend! The weather has finally cooled down a little bit so it's not too bad to take Grace out. She can actually be comfortable! and so can I! I won't be a sweaty mess from a short walk =) I am feeling much better this morning, I think I just needed some sleep and some sunshine this morning =) Gotta love that vitamin D. I am going to focus the rest of this week and just not gaining any weight. Try and get some extra activity to help combat the extra food that always follows a birthday. Today I am going to smile and kind of ignore my uncle all at the same time and then we are off to pick up a couple of things at the mall. I told Yvon that I am not sitting around all night so we are going to go for a nice walk and just enjoy the great weather!

Title?

I couldn't come up with a with a title for today because I have so much running through my mind. First thing is why do I always sabotage myself when I experience a little bit of success? I had a great loss this week and have been eating to celebrate it ever since....what am I doing?! I really need to stop this crap. So much of weight loss is the mental side and I seem to really struggle there. I think alot of people do, we all seem to have different reason for why we are over weight and different things that set us off. I need to really figure this out for myself so I can start to work this FOR me instead of against me. I need to spend some time looking maybe a little deeper then the surface of emotional eating and figure out what is really triggering my sabotage...

This weekend is going to be a hard weekend for me to stay truely "on track". I have brunch at my uncles tomorrow. This seems simple, just eat a light brunch. I wish it was so, my uncle is crazy! He is always trying to pick a fight with someone at a family function and I really don't want it to be me. I have already had the discussion with him on how WW is not a cult! I will have to eat a little bit of just about everything or he will get offended and start talking openly about how I don't like him and he will want me to explain....He is so weird! I also have a birthday coming up on Wednesday so my mom is cooking my birthday dinner on Sunday and making me Reese Peanut Butter Cup cheesecake! I am so looking forward to this and not all at the same time! I have told everyone that for my birthday this year I just want to spend the night with Yvon and Grace and we can all get together on other nights. It makes it so there are a couple of birthday dinners but really in the end it is worth it to me to have that time with just the 3 of us =)

Living on the new budget is a little tight but I think it is making Yvon and I think a little more before we run out and just buy the latest Blue Ray or order in dinner (which is also good for my weight). I am really hoping we can get the bit of debt we have accumulated down so we can start planning our first real family vacation!

9 Years Together

9 years ago today I started dating my beautiful husband. I can't believe how fast the time has gone and how far we have come. We were only 19 when we met and now we have been married for 3 years and have our beautiful baby girl =) Last night my brother and his fiance offered to babysit Grace so we could go out for dinner. We had some gift cards to The Keg and off we went. Yvon had just finished his appy when they phoned with Grace screaming in the back ground. We had already ordered our dinner so we gave them some different ideas to get her calmed down and waited for our food. Just as dinner came to the table I made Yvon call and check to see if she was okay and they had managed to get her to sleep. So we ate quickly and headed back to their place. When we got there she was asleep on my brother, as I walked in she woke up, looked at my brother and started to cry, I took her and she calmed right down and started smiling at my brother! I guess she just wanted her mommy =)

It has been a crazy morning, I am getting ready for company tonight and our cat decided for the first time EVER that should would bring me a bird! The poor thing wasn't even dead and didn't seem too injured! I phoned my husband in a panic and he said to phone his dad who is only a couple of minutes away to come help me. Well I phoned and he had just left, so my mother in law gave me some good advice. I moved the freezer it was hiding behind and it just flew away! Thank goodness!

So I ate a beautiful piece of prime rib last night along with some really great mashed potatoes and a little bit of bread. It was great and I really enjoyed it. I have decided that if we are not going to be eating out as much on our new budget that I am going to enjoy it to the fullest when we do. I am not going to go crazy but I am going to have what I want.

I almost forgot, today was weigh in day and I was down 3.5lbs from last week! That makes my weight loss a total of .7 seeing as I gained so much last week. I am so happy that I got all of last weeks gain off and then some! Moving in the right direction!

I want to add a ticker to my blog but can't figure out how to do it.....advice?

Mall Walking

Today I went back to my mall walking mommy's group. It is so refreshing to spend sometime with people who are in the same situation. None of my friends have kids so sometimes it is kind of lonely......

Grace made it through her shots yesterday and so did Yvon and I. It was better then last time and she slept really well last night. When we got home this morning I did notice she had a very slight fever so I gave her some tylenol and put her down for a nap. We need to do some grocery shopping at some point today and I am trying to plan so I only need to go once this week. I do need to go to costco and safeway but I am not sure where I want to buy the roast I need for dinner on Thursday. I can't believe I am going to make a fully oven cooked dinner in this heat! I must be nuts ;p We are going to move the airconditioner down if it stays this hot so we won't waste away.

I am still tracking all my points and I am quite happy with the success I am having realizing when I am actually hungry not just in the mood to snack. Last night I had some popcorn while we watched tv and it was a really good treat. I did melt a bit of butter to go on it but I weighed and counted it. I love my WW food scale, makes these things so much easier! I need to get some more activity in my day, maybe when it's a bit cooler I will be able to get out for more walks, right now I am pretty much relegated to the malls....

Shots...

Well yesterday was a bit of a mixed bag. I didn't eat great or horrible but I did track everything which is a step in the right direction. I have started today off good so far and have planned my meals for the day. I have an easy dinner planned for tonight because we have to take Grace for her second shots =( I am not looking forward to this at tall. I am happy that my husband is going to be able to come with me this time...that should help a little. We are going to have the left over chicken in a chicken quesidilla, yummy =)

This is going to be a hard week, not just eating wise but everything. My husband and I are trying out a new budget so we can get back on track. When I went on maternity leave we didn't change our spending habits enough and have been spending too much money. I like to watch "Til Debt Do Us Part" and have decided to implement some of the things she uses on the show to get people back on track. We are also going to be out for dinner Tuesday (inlaws - shouldn't be too bad) and Wednesday (we are going to the Keg, it's out dating anniversary - 9 years!) and then having people over on Thursday! I am going to need a vacation! We have been married just over 3 years now but we still celebrate when we started dating, it gives us a reason to go out for dinner. This will be hard on the points and the budget. We have $50 in gift cards so that should help there and I am going to try and be pretty good for the first part of the week to prepare. This will also be the first time we leave Grace with my brother and his fiance, they are so excited and I am just crossing my fingers that it goes well!

Cupcakes!

Today we ate the most fabulous cupcakes! Yesterday we were away for the day on Gambier Island. It was my husbands company picnic and it was amazing! One of the owners has a summer "cabin"...more like mansion! The views, the weather....everything was amazing. I even managed to eat well. I got 2 really good days. I tracked and everything. Today is another story....as I said I ate the most amazing cupcakes! One of the girls from the office was telling me about them and I just couldn't resist. We went for a nice walk (a little short, it is just too hot for poor Grace right now)and bought some cupcakes. We couldn't decide which one we wanted so we bought 3 each :p They were all so good, it is a cute place on 4th Ave. in Vancouver called Big City Cupcakes. If you want a treat go there. We have decided we will go no more than once per month for a special treat. I have emailed the company and asked for the nutritional information and I don't think it is going to be something I really want to know, but I know I need to know it....maybe they are fat free? I WISH!!!!!!!!!
Well other than today my restart with WW has gone quite well and tomorrow I will be right back on track eating what I should =) I can say that knowing we were having treats we did have roast chicken and ceasar salad. Doesn't even come close to evening anything out but atleast it was a healthy choice!

So.....

So, I weighed in this morning and knowing that I ate alot of crap this week I saw 178.8 on the scale. What have I been doing? Did I need a screw up like this to make me get my head together? I am feeling pretty stupid right now.....

On the bright side, I have my food journal sitting infront of me with my points goal for the day figured out and my breakfast tracked. Another bright moment...4 months ago today my whole world changed when my beautiful daughter was born =) She makes me smile everyday....multiple times per day. If I am having a bad moment all I have to do is look at her =) I am doing this for me and for her, so she has a positive rolemodel, someone who has a healthy relationship with food.

I CAN DO THIS!

Tried and True

I have been struggling for so long with this extra weight and don't understand why I haven't truly gone back to my roots and really, honestly started Weight Watchers again. A few years ago I lost 38 pounds that way, the only true success I have ever had in my weight battle. I tracked and went to the gym and it worked...so why am I not doing this?

I tried going back when Grace was 3 weeks old, I think it was just too early. I was not ready, I was struggling with a little postpardum and it was too much, too soon. This morning I took a good step and joined a mommy and me "workout" group. It's a walking/exercise thing at the local mall. It was surprisingly a pretty good workout. After the "class" we all stayed and had a drink together and talked. It was nice to have people in similar situations to talk to. I think next week I will just bring more water because I don't want to be spending $5 on a smoothie everytime we are there (I had the low-fat berry-pom from Orange Julius).

I have pulled my old journal out and I am going to start tracking my food again. I need to be accountable, stop eating whatever I think I want and start doing what I know works. I was taking a break from WW because I felt like I was "using" the program because I knew it so well, but really it was just an excuse.....

Here we go again =)

Weekends

Well I got on the scale this morning just to see how things were going....I need to start paying attention. It's always like this, you think you are doing okay and then when you start thinking back....eeeeee. I had too much sugar this weekend and it shows. My husband and I have a little fetish with sour keys. So good but so very, very bad for anything. Well atleast I know what it is. I am just going to have to go cold turkey and not eat them anymore.

So I find that I just don't have time to blog on the weekend. I get so carried away with what I am doing and then I just kind of forget too. We spent some time yesterday cleaning and organizing and it felt sooo good. We have been so disorganized since we moved in October and then with Grace and now we are just trying to get things together. We are trying to find a place for everything and are getting rid of alot of stuff. Last week we purged alot of stuff and gave it away to Big Brothers and we still have more to go. We are now working in the bedroom to get rid of some clothes...we have too much! We are still kind of feeling our way around our townhouse and have decided to change around some of our rooms to better utilize the space we have. I kind of feel that once we get the house organized might feel more organized in my life and have better luck with my eating.....I find sometimes I get so overwhelmed with crap that I sit back and just eat. I am an emotional eater and can't quite kick that yet....something to work on.

Television

My husband and I are TV watchers. We love a good night at home curled up on the couch with our fave shows. Last night I was watching "The Last 10 Pounds Bootcamp", I don't know if any of you have ever watched this show but every time I get in a weight loss mood I love to watch these kinds of shows. I find they offer motivation and some good ideas for food and exercise. It gave me a good idea to take my measurements as another method as to how to judge my progress. I am going to go out this morning and get a measuring tape.

I think I forgot to mention my weight yesterday - I am 176 pounds.....that was a little hard to type. I don't want to be that heavy and seeing there makes it so very real, I can't run away from it and I can't pretend that it's something else. I am trying to get one of those tickers to add to my blog but I am so illiterate at this stuff it's not even funny. I am going to keep trying to figure it out. I still don't know how to do much more than a new post and a bit of personalizing with the background =)

My plan is to weigh in every Thursday morning and take my measurements once per month. I will post these results and I am trying to figure out how I can post them down the side....

Clean Slate

As my profile says I am almost 28 and a new mom to a wonderfully amazing baby girl named Grace. I have a great husband who is supportive and loving and I am carrying an extra 36lbs. This is my second blog, I decided today that I need a clean slate with no old posts and no strings attached.

After alot of on and off and this and that I have decided that I need and want to make a REAL effort to lose this weight. It is slowing me down and bringing me down. I was at a wedding over the weekend and felt great...until I saw the pictures. I have the reverse of anorexia or something, where I think I look better than I actually do...anyone else? I know it weird but I guess I just remember what I looked like before, then I see myself in pictures and it makes me want to cry.....Today I have decided that I am going to lose these 36lbs by Christmas. I don't think that is a crazy goal, it's 5 months and I can do it. Between eating better and getting more exercise it is possible. I want to be a positive role model for my daughter and help her have a healthy attitude towards eating and activity.

My husband and I try and get out for a walk with her every night because she is just so enthralled by the trees and everything she sees (she will be 4 months on the 12th). I just love to watch her. I have lost 24 lbs since she was born and that all happened in the first few weeks, it just fell off. I think I took it for granted and now it won't go anywhere. I keep losing and gaining the same few pounds and it is driving me nuts, I need to just do this.

If you read my blog please leave a message, it would be great to hear any ideas anyone might have.