Partied out?

Really? Who would have thought? I love get together but I find them much more stressful now that Grace is mobile! We had another wedding shower today and I find myself not really enjoying any of this - I feel like people are judging me for how Grace acts. She is really well behaved but she is 15 months and she gets bored pretty quickly. I do my best to keep her on the quieter side and busy but I just can't all the time. This shower was my SIL's friends and her family friends. One of her family friends is a real bitch! She just sits and glares at people and I felt her judging my parenting the whole time!  I am also very self conscious about my weight around basically everyone - I always feel like people are judging me for not having lost the baby weight yet. I know a lot of it is in my head but I also know that it is justified in many situations. Her friends are very superficial and very "trendy" people. I do not dress "trendy" by any means. All of their clothes are expensive and designer and I feel they judge me for not wearing those things. It's something I need to get over, these people do not mean anything in my life....

Summer

It is finally here in BC! The weather has been nice and we have been in Summerland for the last few days. It felt so good to get some real sun =)

I forgot about posting....I was down .9 this week and I was pleased with that. I do not know what Monday will bring but I am okay with it. I was active but not to the same degree and I ate reasonably well but did indulge in some "road" food. We got Grace out of the boat and in the water! We had a lot of fun and this weekend coming up is going to be busy! I have a shower tomorrow, down to the states Sunday and off for some family time on Monday (BC Day). I will hopefully be back with an update sooner rather than later!

Stress

I have been really stressed out the last few months. Very embarrassingly the hubby and myself dug ourselves into some financial trouble in the last 2 years. When we found out we were going to have a baby (she was about a year early) we decided we wanted to move. We were living in a one bedroom basement suite saving up for a down payment. Housing is VERY expensive in the Vancouver area (3 bedroom townhouse = $369 900 unrenovated). We saved a good down payment and my inlaws company handled the renos for us. So we bought, reno'd and furnished a place as well as having a baby all in under 1 year. I was then off work for 1 year, yes I was paid but it was less than 50% of my normal salary and we did not make enough changes. We thought when I went back to work it would all even it self out and we would be fine. Well it didn't quite work that way and things were getting tight. I phoned into the bank and they suggested that we consolidate into out mortgage, after talking it over with hubby and exhausting all other options we decided that was what we would do. I phoned in again and apparently the other person I had spoken to was wrong and we weren't eligible as our mortgage is too "young". Well I went into to work today and swallowed my pride and asked for a loan, we are a smaller company and they are always willing to help. I feel 1000 pounds lighter now...

My eating has been pretty good - I also got another workout in yesterday and another 2 minute plank! I am feeling stronger every workout!

I am on my own with Grace this weekend and I am planning a couple of really good walks and hopefully even a run!

2 Minutes!

That is right - I did a 2 minute plank! I am so proud of myself =) I killed myself today, 30 minute hit after work and then my running group at 7:30. I missed my workout yesterday because I forgot my clothes but I figured I was still going to get 2 days in even if it was 2 days in a row with 1 being a "double" day. 

Sorry if this is TMI but I have gotten my first period sans IUD and I want to eat everything that passes me! I am trying not to but not really succeeding. I am doing better than before but not great. I just keep doing the best I can. I am on my own this weekend (hubby is off for my brothers stag) so I just need to keep myself on track. Grace and I are heading to a birthday party on Saturday afternoon where I know they have gotten cakes from somewhere I hate (make me happy) and I can make sure I eat a good breakfast and then have a good dinner. I am planning a couple of big walks to help keep us busy and then picking my mom and dad up from the airport on Sunday! I have missed them! We then have a party to celebrate my coworker/friends husband finishing his phd - I am so proud of him but very sad because he has taken a postdoc position in Austin, Texas =( I am really going to miss her. It is such an amazing adventure for them!

Well I am tired and want to go to bed so I will talk to you guys tomorrow =)

More

More good days is what I need. Getting sick last week really mucked me up - I have not been able to workout since Tuesday last week and I really don't like that. I did manage to lose 1.8 this week which I am really proud of. My eating has not been perfect but it has been much better...well except for today. I think I need to give you some back story before I tell you why today was nit great eating wise - we went to a wedding on Saturday. The bride and groom decided everyone would have to take a 15 minute hike down to a secluded beach...well the weather was the shits and it was slippery....hubby's 73 year old aunty fell and managed to dislocate and break her ankle in 3 places. We weren't allowed to see her yesterday due to surgery so we could only go right after work. We can't wait too long for dinner because of Grace so my inlaws decided we would stop for burgers - they were really good but I know they are really high in points...I am afraid to track today. Oh well - must move on.

Tomorrow I will be getting back to the gym - I am still congested but I think I should be fine now. I am hoping to keep up with the weight loss. I am disappointed that I won't be much smaller for my brothers wedding but I need to lose weight for myself not a function.

Sickly

I have a cold and I feel like crap! I missed my workout and my run tonight because I am so congested! My eating has been pretty even - I did have some chips that I didn't need but I did count them...that doesn't excuse it by any means but last week I just gave up when I ate something that wasn't really in my plan. I am really missing my activity but I just don't have the umph to do it. I am really hoping to feel better soon - hubby had this last week and it didn't last too long but it really sucks!

Well I am going to take a night time cold pill and go to bed!

Day 2

I have tracked everything but my last little treat of a Healthy Choice Fudge Bar (2 Points Plus) and my 45 minute walk. I will use a couple of my weekly points today because we had an amazing treat at work - I counted it and got my workout in and an extra walk! Feels good =) My throat is killing me and that fudge bar felt SO good!

I was really proud of myself today - I planned ahead for dinner and it made things so much easier! I went for my workout and to water my parents plants (they are in Europe) and came home to hubby throwing the steaks on the bbq with the potato salad ready - all I had to do was cut up some veggies and pour a glass of water. After dinner we got ourselves together and went for a nice walk to a new park for Grace to play on the swings! She LOVES the swings! I will be going to the gym tomorrow and Thursday and I also have running class tomorrow night. I am disappointed that I AGAIN did not get my homework done for running....next week I will do better. I am not going to wait for hubby - just get out and do it!

Reset

I have hit that infamous reset button again. I weighed in this morning and took my measurements. I am going to update my tab tomorrow (the stuff is upstairs and I am too lazy). My starting weight this morning was 186.1 - the heaviest non-pregnancy weight I have ever recorded....

I can't dwell on it - I just need to move forward. I had a great day food wise and got out for a 45 minute walk with the fam after dinner. I got back online with WW and have tracked my points for today as well and input my weight and measurements. I know it is too little too late for the weddings this summer but it will be something. I will do the best I can to get the most I can off before my brothers wedding. I am going to commit to 3 times at 30 minute hit and my one night of running. I am trying to get some extra running time in but it doesn't seem to be happening right now.

I have been reading up on the "17 day diet" and I am finding it quite interesting. I am not quite sold on it but it does have some really good points about eating ore balanced diet and trying to avoid some of the fruits that have a higher concentration of sugars (bananas/watermelon and some others) and trying to eat more berries. They recommend only 2 servings but that was something that didn't work for me. I am trying to eat fewer carbs and more protein as it is suggested in most "diets". I was happy with some of the ideas I got from the book but the eating plan was far too restrictive and the calories were too low to support the level of activity I was to achieve.

One day down....a lot more to go.

Running

I had week 2 of my running group tonight and again I really enjoyed it! I have been surprised by how much I am truly enjoying it. I need to make sure I get my homework done this week. Tomorrow I will be heading to The Hit  after work and I hope to get a walk in at lunch before it starts raining again.

I am still struggling with eating well - I don't really know what my mental block is but I seem to want to just eat crap! I will pack myself a healthy lunch, most of which I eat....it's the chips or cookies or some days both that I seem to keep adding. I really do not like the way I look or feel but I don't seem to be willing to fix this? I keep working at this but I am not getting anywhere. We are going to a wedding next weekend and very sadly I will be wearing a dress that I bought last year for w wedding...because I have not gotten anywhere. I am very frustrated but I am not going to let this knock me back. Onward and downward?

Stress and Disappointment

Between work and current finances I am feeling quite stressed. We are getting things back on track financially but like my weight I am annoyed that we let it get away from us. I hate money! Work has been slow due to the postal strike but is picking back up again now that it is over but we are dealing with a lot of people that are waiting for money and they are not pleased. Apparently it is our fault that their mail has not been delivered.

On the disappointment side an old friend was supposed to come for dinner tonight...needless to say he was a no show. I made the potato salad last night and we both rushed home to be sure we were ready and could have dinner on the table quickly. When he was 30 minutes late we started sending BBM (Black Berry Messenger) - no response. Finally when he was 1 hour and 15 minutes late he finally responded saying he was on new meds and the screwed him up ( he hurt himself). I understand this but we had asked him yesterday if he was feeling up to it and then this morning Yvon asked if he could bring some ice cream for with dessert and he said it wouldn't be a problem....This is not the first time - when I was pregnant he was all talk about how he wanted to be Uncle and blah, blah, blah, I have Grace and it took him 3 months to come and meet her. He only came because he had to pick up a movie from us - he couldn't even stay 15 minutes. That was the last time we saw him and after tonight we will not be making any effort to see him again.

I did okay with my eating today but I did have some chips that I really did not need. Just have to get better every day.

Huh?

Have I really been gone that long? I was too ashamed to blog...sadly my weight is 184.1.......yikes! I have really let things get away from me. I am so embarrassed to write that. I have to admit I have been ignoring the blogoshere completely! I feel like I have really shut down lately. I keep thinking I am going to "start again", with the best of intentions I do really well for a couple of hours or even a couple days and then I am back to my "old" ways again. It just seems that the "old days" are not old because they are not going anywhere!

I am just trying to get my footing again, eat healthier and move more. It seems to be helping because I have stopped gaining and I saw a small loss this week. I have changed my WI day to Monday - I like things to start at the beginning of the week and hopefully it will help me stay on track through the weekend. We are really working on our finances and getting organized around the house  -  I am hoping "organizing" my life will help with getting the weight off. I have been trying to get my workouts together and I even joined a learn to run group. I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed my first class - sadly I did not do my homework but I will be making a better effort this week. It was so nice to have a long weekend, Grace has actually started sleeping past 7:30 on a regular basis and I find it is making such a huge difference!

Well there it is - the good....well mostly the bad and the ugly.